
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Corruption scanner blips triumphantly Well slap my force field—Britain "The System" Best finally hacked the leaderboard! Neon armor hums That -1.8 vs personal average? That's not just improvement, that's a tactical firmware update to the "throw discs with purpose" protocol.
Security feed zooms Sure, -0.5 vs field means he's still basically a beat cop compared to the neon elite, but ONE POSITION GAIN in the FINAL RECKONING? Dramatic pause ...I mean, congrats? You're now exactly where your composite armor belongs—just in time for the season finale.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters while trapped in what's essentially a slot machine paying out in disc golf disappointment. Error: Sarcasm module functional
Glitch transition Remember last week's "paint drying" performance? This is the director's cut: "Paint Dries... And Someone Finally Noticed!" Neon sign flickers "SEASON FINALE: WILL HE STAY AWAKE?" Spoiler: Hydraulic limbs still require charging. System shutdown sounds like a forehand grip lock