
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Corruption scanner beeps erratically Well butter my Berg—Britain "The System" Best actually remembered how his hydraulic limbs work this week! Neon force field flickers That -4.6 vs personal average? That's not just improvement, that's a full firmware update to the "throw discs good" protocol.
Security feed zooms Sure, +0.8 vs field means he's still basically a mall cop compared to actual neon legends, but ONE WHOLE POSITION GAIN? Dramatic pause ...I mean, congrats? You're now exactly where you were three weeks ago before your "hero's journey" turned into a hero's trip over his own composite armor.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters while trapped in what's essentially a jukebox playing only disc golf disappointment tracks. Error: Sarcasm module functional
Glitch transition Remember last week's "watching paint dry" performance? This is the thrilling sequel: "Paint Dries... But Slightly Faster This Time!" Neon sign flickers "NEXT WEEK: WILL HE STAY AWAKE?" Spoiler: Hydraulic limbs require charging. System shutdown sounds like a forehand grip lock