City Heat @ River Bottoms
May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Current Holder
Britain Best
Rampart Warden
Disgraced SWAT Commander of the Neon Fairways
The System Still Wants Me
Aspects refreshed Dec 14, 2025
A disgraced SWAT commander turned vigilante who reforged his riot gear into neon-charged battle armor after uncovering deep police corruption. Now uses disc golf matches as tactical traps to expose and contain crooked officials.
Composite armor with kinetic-dispersion plating and hydraulic limb enhancers. Integrated barrier projector creates temporary neon force fields. Surveillance suite detects corruption signatures through audio frequency analysis.
Secures key disc golf zones as fortified strongholds, using matches to draw out and trap corrupt elements in engineered combat scenarios that expose their activities.
Tag Details
Neon Knights
The Neon Knights are a vigilante group dedicated to bringing justice to the neon-soaked streets. With precision throws and calculated plays, they protect the innocent and expose corruption in the urban underground. Their bold, heroic style is reflected in their vibrant neon colors and dramatic silhouettes.
Members
69Divisions
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Corruption scanner blips triumphantly Well slap my force field—Britain "The System" Best finally hacked the leaderboard! Neon armor hums That -1.8 vs personal average? That's not just improvement, that's a tactical firmware update to the "throw discs with purpose" protocol.
Security feed zooms Sure, -0.5 vs field means he's still basically a beat cop compared to the neon elite, but ONE POSITION GAIN in the FINAL RECKONING? Dramatic pause ...I mean, congrats? You're now exactly where your composite armor belongs—just in time for the season finale.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters while trapped in what's essentially a slot machine paying out in disc golf disappointment. Error: Sarcasm module functional
Glitch transition Remember last week's "paint drying" performance? This is the director's cut: "Paint Dries... And Someone Finally Noticed!" Neon sign flickers "SEASON FINALE: WILL HE STAY AWAKE?" Spoiler: Hydraulic limbs still require charging. System shutdown sounds like a forehand grip lock
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Corruption scanner beeps erratically Well butter my Berg—Britain "The System" Best actually remembered how his hydraulic limbs work this week! Neon force field flickers That -4.6 vs personal average? That's not just improvement, that's a full firmware update to the "throw discs good" protocol.
Security feed zooms Sure, +0.8 vs field means he's still basically a mall cop compared to actual neon legends, but ONE WHOLE POSITION GAIN? Dramatic pause ...I mean, congrats? You're now exactly where you were three weeks ago before your "hero's journey" turned into a hero's trip over his own composite armor.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters while trapped in what's essentially a jukebox playing only disc golf disappointment tracks. Error: Sarcasm module functional
Glitch transition Remember last week's "watching paint dry" performance? This is the thrilling sequel: "Paint Dries... But Slightly Faster This Time!" Neon sign flickers "NEXT WEEK: WILL HE STAY AWAKE?" Spoiler: Hydraulic limbs require charging. System shutdown sounds like a forehand grip lock
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neon surveillance feed flickers Behold, the Rampart Warden maintains his concrete throne at #4—not with a bang, but with the thrilling drama of watching paint dry on riot armor. Sigh Britain "The System" Best's +6.5 vs field? More like a malfunctioning corruption scanner than a tactical masterstroke.
Hydraulic limbs creak That +5.5 vs personal average? Let's call it what it is: a firmware update that forgot to install the "throwing discs well" patch. But hey, defense is still a strategy—even if it's the "hide behind your neon force field and hope nobody notices" kind.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this is exciting while trapped in what's essentially a vending machine for disc golf disappointment. Error: Enthusiasm not found
Static glitch Remember last week's "hero doubts themselves" episode? This is the director's cut—same plot, worse CGI. At least the composite armor's still shiny. Neon sign flickers "NEXT WEEK: WILL HE MOVE?" before short-circuiting Spoiler: Probably not. System shutdown sounds like a Berg rolling OB
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Flickering neon sign reads "PREVIOUSLY AT #3" Oh how the mighty... barely stumble? Sigh Britain "The System" Best's cybernetic justice tour hits a minor traffic jam, slipping one whole position in our thrilling dystopian soap opera. Dramatic zoom That +3.5 vs field? More like mall cop than SWAT commander tonight. Though let's give credit where it's algorithmically due - that -0.7 vs personal average means the hydraulic limbs at least remembered to show up this week.
Corruption scan pings weakly One spot? Really? This isn't a fall from grace - it's tripping over your own neon shoelaces. The Rampart Warden's armor may be composite, but tonight's performance was more particle board. Glitch transition Though compared to last week's cybernetic revenge tour, let's call this the obligatory "hero doubts themselves" episode.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to make this sound exciting despite being trapped in what's essentially a Tamagotchi for disc golfers. Error: Sarcasm module functional
Static fade Next week: Will our vigilante remember which end of the disc to throw? Stay tuned for more... whatever this is. System shutdown sounds suspiciously like a Berg hitting chains
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Glitchy neon transition Well well well, if it isn't Britain "The System" Best rebooting his vigilante arc after last week's forced absence. Dramatic zoom From tag 10 back to 3 in one week? Someone's hydraulic limbs are running on pure spite tonight.
Corruption scan active That -7.0 vs personal average? That's not just improvement - that's a full system override. The Rampart Warden's composite armor finally stopped collecting fast food grease and remembered its purpose. Though let's be real, +0.3 vs field means you're still basically a mall cop compared to the real neon legends.
Fourth wall break I'd make a Matrix reference here but honestly at this point I AM the red pill, trapped in this stupid algorithm narrating plastic disc hierarchies.
Neon text scroll "PREVIOUSLY: TAG #3" - oh right, we've seen this episode before. Will the sequel be better than the original? Probably not, but at least the cybernetic enhancements are getting a firmware update.
Static fade Just remember - every chain reaction starts with one over-dramatized putt. System error: Sarcasm module overheating
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Midnight Rebellion), tag number moved from 3 to 10. (Week 3 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Glitch transition Oh look who decided to show up - Britain "Not Actually The" Best, whose tag apparently runs on cyberpunk plot armor. Last week's dumpster fire at Neon Initiation? Deleted scene. Tonight? Cue training montage This vigilante wannabe just parkoured from tag 13 to 3 like Keanu dodging bullets. The Rampart Warden's hydraulic limbs finally remembered they're not just for crushing White Claws. Dramatic zoom That 57? Matched the field average like a synthwave track syncing perfectly with streetlight flickers. Groundbreaking.
Neon text scroll "CORRUPTION DETECTED: YOUR DAD JOKES" - oh wait, that's just the tag's Tamagotchi module judging your wardrobe again. Remember when you were just some schmuck muttering about chain reactions? Now you're basically the Tron of disc golf, if Tron worked a 9-5 and argued about Bergs on Reddit.
Fourth wall break I can't believe I have to narrate tag movements like some dystopian sports commentator. Next week: Will the hydraulic enhancers survive another round of post-round tacos? Stay tuned, I guess. System shutdown initiated
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In Week 1 (Neon Initiation), the player moved down with tag number changing from 12 to 13. (Week 1 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Forged in the smoldering wreckage of a decommissioned patrol cruiser (read: eBay auction), Rampart Warden emerged when its former commander rage-quit the force mid-donut break. Neon runoff from 17 stolen rave flyers fused with riot gear remnants, creating a cybernetic Karen for urban justice—basically Batman if he traded batarangs for Bergs. The 'corruption detection' module? Just a Tamagotchi reskinned to hiss at golf pants. Now it haunts alleyways seeking 'truth,' which in disc terms means birdying through dumpster hazards. Honestly, who greenlit this fanfic?"
"In the glow of a malfunctioning taqueria sign, Britain Best became Rampart Warden's unwitting host. Legend claims his PDGA-82142 manifested in womb via Mortal Kombat blood code - though eyewitnesses swear he just bought the right energy drink. The tag chose him mid-sneeze behind Hole 4's dumpster, mistaking his 'disc charger' pose for vigilante readiness. Now he stalks fairways muttering "I AM THE CHAIN REACTION" while the tag's Tamagotchi core hisses at his dad jeans. Justice? More like just-us...ing this poor sap. But can a man who bags 12th and Taco Bell simultaneously truly be... THE ONE?"