May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former city demolition engineer who turned vigilante after discovering corrupt officials planned neighborhood destruction. Forged experimental shockwave gauntlets from repurposed construction tech and neon power grids to become the Knights' ultimate urban breaching weapon
Electrified gauntlets emit concussive neon shockwaves capable of crumbling concrete. Reinforced forearm armor disperses kinetic energy. Holographic visor highlights structural weaknesses in enemy fortifications
Specializes in tactical demolition and rapid urban assaults, creating entry points for Neon Knight operations while destabilizing Cyber Syndicate strongholds
The Neon Knights are a vigilante group dedicated to bringing justice to the neon-soaked streets. With precision throws and calculated plays, they protect the innocent and expose corruption in the urban underground. Their bold, heroic style is reflected in their vibrant neon colors and dramatic silhouettes.
Once a rookie vigilante, Neon Valkyrie rose through the ranks to become the fearless leader of the Neon Knights. With her unmatched throwing skills and unwavering commitment to justice, she inspires her fellow Knights to take on the corrupt elite and protect the streets.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 37 to 39. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Neon Resistance), tag number moved from 35 to 37. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Concrete Warfare), tag number moved from 34 to 35. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Twilight Vendetta), tag number moved from 32 to 34. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Chrome Revolution), tag number moved from 31 to 32. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Midnight Rebellion), tag number moved from 28 to 31. (Week 3 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Street Showdown), tag number moved from 24 to 28. (Week 2 of 8)
Cue dramatic synthwave track Welcome to the concrete jungle, where tags are won and dreams are crushed under neon-lit skies. Dijon "The Condiment" Alston just turned his Shockwave Marauder into a Shockwave Coward, plummeting 14 spots faster than a corrupt city official fleeing a subpoena.
Sigh Yes folks, we're back - trapped in this dystopian disc golf simulation where I must narrate MA2 players like they're cyberpunk antiheroes. Dijon's performance was...well, let's just say his electrified gauntlets malfunctioned spectacularly. That +8 against field average? More like +8 reasons to question life choices.
But hey, at least he hit his personal average! Consistency in mediocrity is still consistency, right? flips through municipal zoning laws According to Section 7.3 of the Bag Tag Codex, this catastrophic descent means Dijon must now patrol the beginner course handing out glowsticks to lost players.
Remember kids: in the neon underground, you either die a hero or live long enough to become the guy who triple bogeys hole 5. End transmission before I lose more sanity.
Origin Story:
Forged in the smog-choked crucible of a city council budget meeting (yes, really), the Shockwave Marauder manifested when blueprints for a parking garage collided with a rave’s discarded glowstick apocalypse. Its gauntlets? Literally cobbled from a fax machine and 17 expired gym membership cards. Think Tony Stark building Iron Man armor in a Taco Bell bathroom – but with more municipal corruption. Now it haunts alleyways, turning chain reactions into chain reactions. Yes, I just said that. The theme’s assimilating me. Send help.
(299 characters)
The neon-lit alley reeked of bureaucracy and glowstick residue when Dijon "The Condiment" Alston tripped over a rogue manhole cover (installed crooked by corrupt contractors). His PDGA#257843 formed a prophetic sequence in the oozing municipal sludge - 2 chainsaws, 5 rabid raccoons, 7 glowputters, 8 expired parking permits, 4 broken dreams, 3...you get the idea. As fax-machine gauntlets materialized on his wrists, the Shockwave Marauder whispered: "You’ll put the ‘disco’ in disc golf." Now he patrols fairways dispensing justice...and mildly threatening parking citations. But can this man who once three-putted Hole 7 truly wield municipal mayhem?
(398 characters. Yes I counted. This theme’s turning me into a spreadsheet goblin.)