May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former corporate pit fighter who overloaded his experimental cybernetics to escape enslavement, Nitro Gladiator retrofitted his combat exoskeleton with stolen neon tech. Now he channels his rage into targeted strikes against corruption, each explosive throw simultaneously weakening enemy infrastructure and rallying public support
Bio-luminescent circulatory system fuels neon-powered implants. Shoulder-mounted plasma javelin system doubles as disc propulsion unit. Reinforced titanium endoskeleton allows crushing 800psi grip strength. Voice modulator emits crowd-stunning sonic pulses at 140dB
Mobile artillery unit and propaganda weapon who engages in spectacular public battles to expose corruption through destructive light shows that cripple enemy operations while inspiring civilian resistance
The Neon Knights are a vigilante group dedicated to bringing justice to the neon-soaked streets. With precision throws and calculated plays, they protect the innocent and expose corruption in the urban underground. Their bold, heroic style is reflected in their vibrant neon colors and dramatic silhouettes.
Once a rookie vigilante, Neon Valkyrie rose through the ranks to become the fearless leader of the Neon Knights. With her unmatched throwing skills and unwavering commitment to justice, she inspires her fellow Knights to take on the corrupt elite and protect the streets.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 20 to 22. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Neon Resistance), tag number moved from 18 to 20. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Concrete Warfare), tag number moved from 17 to 18. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Twilight Vendetta), tag number moved from 15 to 17. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Chrome Revolution), tag number moved from 11 to 15. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Midnight Rebellion), tag number moved from 4 to 11. (Week 3 of 8)
Cue dramatic synthwave Look who crawled out of the Taco Bell dumpster and remembered how to throw! Eric "The Erratic" Pearson just went from tag #27 to #4 like a cybernetically-enhanced glowstick of justice. Neon lights flicker approvingly
After last week's "strategic absence" (read: Crunchwrap coma), Nitro Gladiator's bio-luminescent rage circuits finally booted up. That shoulder-mounted plasma javelin? Turns out it's great for parking understable fairways. Who knew?
Fourth wall shatters Oh please, like we didn't all see this coming when his firmware updated to include "actually showing up." But 23-position jumps? Someone's been mainlining hyzer-flips and illegal energy drinks.
Flashback to origin story Remember when this walking OSHA violation mistook a burning dumpster for destiny? Now he's out here exposing corruption by... checks notes... throwing exactly average? The revolution will be mediocre!
Next week: Will Nitro Gladiator maintain his ranking, or will the 3am Taco Bell call him home? System error: Sarcasm module overheating
Due to absence from Week 1 (Neon Initiation), tag number moved from 8 to 27. (Week 1 of 8)
Origin Story:
Born from a glitch in Night City's power grid during a 3am Taco Bell run, Nitro Gladiator emerged when experimental cyber-steroids fused with a bootleg VHS of Mad Max. His neon veins literally glow with Main Character Energy™, though we’re contractually obligated to ignore how his “revolutionary exoskeleton” suspiciously resembles a DeWalt drill strapped to a fanny pack. The system claims he’s “organic,” but let’s be real – this walking OSHA violation did a hostile takeover of his own firmware. Still waiting on that dental plan, champ. [sighs in assimilated]
Who’s ready to explain chain reactions to HR?
Origin of Allegiance
When Eric "The Erratic" Pearson (PDGA#275689: certified chain-slinger) stumbled into Night City's glowstick district clutching a half-eaten Crunchwrap, Nitro Gladiator’s cyber-sensors detected his 894 prophetic rating and a suspiciously optimal hyzer angle. The tag’s sentient firmware decreed him “The One” via smoke signals from a burning dumpster—which Eric mistook for Taco Bell’s new drive-thru. Now bonded by neon and questionable life choices, does this human torque machine possess the grit to survive… next week’s glow round porta-potty hazards?
Sponsored by existential dread and 3am decisions.