Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic synthwave bass drop Welcome to the concrete jungle, where tags are won and dignity is lost. Justin "Not-So-Green-Anymore" Green just faceplanted harder than a cyberpunk protagonist discovering their implants are malware.
Starting at #7 like he owned the damn streets, our "Blitz Warden" got demoted to #23 faster than you can say "system error." Insert sad trombone glitch effect That's a 16-spot freefall, folks - the disc golf equivalent of getting your neon mohawk shaved off by a rogue drone.
His +7.5 against field average? More like +7.5 reasons to question why we're pretending this is Blade Runner and not just some dudes in cargo shorts. Even his bag tag's reactive armor couldn't protect against that performance - the circuitry probably shorted out from secondhand embarrassment.
Fourth wall break Look, I'm just as confused as you are about why we're dramatizing MA1 scores like they're cybernetic bounty contracts. But hey, at least Green's origin story checks out - turns out "rogue operative" just meant rogue shanks into the woods.
Cue dramatic exit Until next week, when we'll see if our fallen hero can reboot his system... or if he's destined to become just another glitch in the matrix of mediocrity. Neon lights flicker ominously