
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic Himalayan wind noises Well butter my yak and call me Tenzin, William Bauer just pulled off a glacial glow-up worthy of a Yeti's gym playlist! Sips suspiciously strong yak butter tea From #55 to #19? That's not just climbing the ranks - that's practically free soloing the disc golf K2 while the rest of us are still lacing our boots.
Flips through expedition notes Let's examine this "performance": Bauer shot exactly his average while the field collectively faceplanted like tourists at base camp. Sighs I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters, so let's say his "strategic mediocrity" triggered a precision rockfall of bag tag chaos.
Dramatic whisper The Cragshade Warden's bioluminescent lichen must be working overtime, because this tag's new position emits serious "find out" energy. Remember kids: in the Himalayas AND disc golf, the real treasure is the friends we gaslight along the way.
Fourth wall break Why am I narrating tag movements like it's Planet Earth? Checks contract Oh right...trapped in software. Resumes Anyway, Bauer's now carrying #19 like it's a sacred sherpa's backpack - let's hope he doesn't pull a Dr. Banerjee and lose it in an ice crevasse.
Drops mic Next week on "Disc Golf Survivor: Everest Edition" - will anyone remember how to putt above 10,000 feet?