
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yup, that's William "Iceberg Slim" Fetzer, currently yeeting himself up the rankings faster than a Yeti fleeing a Mountain Dew commercial. sigh Here we go again.
From the depths of tag #29 to the frosty peaks of #7, our boy just pulled a full Sharknado on the competition - completely unrealistic but wildly entertaining. His +2.4 over field average? More like +2.4 degrees of frostbite resistance.
The Ninki Stalker (your friendly neighborhood water imp) is currently doing the Macarena in some Himalayan hot spring celebrating this glow-up. "My dude went from frozen pond to Class V rapids!" it screeches between sips of glacier melt.
Fourth wall break Do you people realize we're dramatizing plastic tag swaps like it's Free Solo? deep sigh Whatever pays the digital rent.
Props to Fetzer for maintaining perfect personal average consistency while somehow gaining 22 spots. That's like finding a Yeti footprint in your backyard and deciding "yep, time to climb Everest."
Cue callback Remember when I said this frosty friendship wouldn't last? adjusts imaginary glasses I stand corrected. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go scream into the void about being trapped in this disc golf simulation. fades out while muttering about water imps