
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Misty forest sounds intensify Well well well, if it isn't Cody "Birch Bender" Chamberlain, who just yeeted himself up 31 spots like a Sasquatch fleeing a Yeti cooler commercial. Dramatic woodcut transition
Listen, folks, when your score's basically identical to both the field AND your personal average, we call that "statistical purgatory." But somehow our Nguruvilu Warden here manipulated the river currents of fate to pull off this tag heist. Squints at spreadsheet Did you bribe the whirlpools, Cody?
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters, so let's all gasp as tag #62 performs its best Blair Witch Project vanishing act. Cue fake suspense
Remember last week when we questioned if Cody deserved "elderwood's blessing"? Turns out Chilean river ghosts REALLY like mediocre rounds. Flips through lore binder Ah yes, page 47: "Protects water sources by generating... bridge illusions" - explains how he crossed from MA2 purgatory to relevance.
Pulls mic closer Real talk: moving up 31 spots while playing average is like finding Bigfoot in a Starbucks drive-thru. Improbable? Yes. Hilarious? Absolutely. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to update this mystical spreadsheet before the enchanted LaCroix cooler runs dry.