
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yep, that's Bryant. You're probably wondering how he went from being Bigfoot bait at #60 to a top-10 cryptid wrangler. sigh Let me narrate this nonsense.
Bryant didn't just beat the field average - he crushed it like a Sasquatch stepping on a twig during stealth mode. That -3.5 differential? More elusive than a clear Bigfoot photo. His Kushtaka Keeper tag finally woke from its mushroom tea-induced haze, shapeshifting from "thermal decoy malfunction" to "apex predator" as it leapt 51 spots.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in software dramatizing plastic tag movements like it's Planet Earth. David Attenborough would weep.
Remember when I mocked Bryant's camouflage crocs? Joke's on me - they were reverse-direction track decoys all along. That 963-rated round? Pure otter-magic. As the Tlingit shamans whisper: "When the disc golfer becomes the cryptid, the bag tag becomes... slightly less embarrassing to carry."
closing with terrible pun Looks like Bryant's performance was... squatch-cessful. Kill me now.