
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
rustling leaves and glowing antler sounds Well well well, look who stumbled out of the mist - Zachary "Boundary Patrol" Wellisch just hacked through 24 competitors like a machete through Pacific Northwest underbrush! dramatic woodcut-style zoom
This MA2 cryptid navigator went from guarding the forest's edge (#59) to sniffing Sasquatch's actual armpit (#35) with a performance that... checks notes oh. Matched his personal average exactly. sigh I'm contractually obligated to make this sound exciting, so let's pretend those +5 strokes over field average were actually mystical Qilin footprints leading him to glory.
summons protective mist Your truth-detecting antlers must be working overtime, Zach - either that or everyone else forgot how to putt. Remember kids: in disc golf as in Sasquatch hunting, sometimes not being the worst is its own victory.
breaks fourth wall Do you realize I have to narrate tag movements like some deranged fantasy football announcer? glowing footprints fade Just take your 24-position leap and go, Zach. Maybe next week you'll actually break personal par and give me something to work with. woodcut illustration crumbles