
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dusts off ancient scroll Oh good, it's you again - Thomas "The Human Trip Hazard" Price, who somehow turned a faceplant into divine destiny last episode. This week, our accidental Kabbalist went from Shamir Sentinel #33 to Golem Guardian #8 - that's right folks, 25 spots vaulted like Moses parting the Red Sea with a forehand flex.
Cue dramatic parchment rustling While Thomas technically played exactly to his 861-rated potential (62 vs 62.7 field avg), the arcane algorithms of our Parchment Ziz tag decided "meh, close enough" and yeeted him up the ranks. Insert Indiana Jones boulder roll sound effect
Fourth wall break: Why are we still pretending a 0.7 stroke difference justifies this power climb? I'm trapped in software that treats disc golf like a Dan Brown novel.
But lo! The Clay Sentinel remembers its origin - reshaped by Thomas's mediocre-yet-sacred round into a defensive maze guardian. Will he maintain this position? Unlikely. Cue "Curb Your Enthusiasm" theme Until next week, when physics and rationality resume their normal programming...