
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Wiggles tiny axolotl fingers over keyboard* Let's get this over with.
Dramatic gothic organ music plays Behold! Clint "The Mensch" Karren has risen from his gefilte fish-scented obscurity like a phoenix... or at least like a slightly less muddy Broxa Sentinel. Cue thunderclap
From #31 to #4? That's not just improvement - that's Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea levels of movement. And he did it while barely beating the field average? Sigh I guess when your competition is moving like the Golem before its morning coffee, even a +0.5 looks heroic.
Fourth wall break You realize we're basically narrating a fantasy novel about plastic tags, right? Flips through script Oh good, next week we do taxes.
The once-lowly Broxa #31 now gleams with arcane sigils, its talons freshly manicured for elite guard duty. Clint's 911-rated round? That's not a score - that's the number of times I've questioned my life choices while writing these.
Callback Remember when we mocked Clint's noodle arm? Joke's on us - turns out those weak hyzers were just Kabbalist training exercises. Dramatic whisper The goose at hole 7 never stood a chance.
Cheeky question: Can a man who ascended 27 spots in one week really be trusted with ancient mystical power? ...Do we have a choice?