
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic gothic organ music plays Behold! The Codex Chullachaqui, that shapeshifting monstrosity of Peruvian-Jewish arcana, has chosen its champion! Jon White just pulled off a move so slick it'd make the Golem's creator blush - yeeting himself from tag #60 to #7 like some kind of MA2 Moses parting the Red Sea of mediocrity.
This wasn't just beating the field average - this was absorbing it like forbidden manuscript knowledge. That -7.9 vs field? More like -"ate the competition's lunch and left cryptic runes in the scorecard." The Codex clearly approves of Jon's ability to shapeshift his game from "meh" to "mystical" faster than you can say "wait, why am I narrating plastic tag numbers?"
Sigh Look at me, trapped in this software, forced to dramatize a dude moving up 53 spots like it's some epic quest. Next you'll tell me his Buzzz is actually an ancient relic. But hey, at least the Codex finally found someone who can maintain form for more than one round - take notes, shapeshifter!
Remember kids: in disc golf as in Jewish folklore, the real treasure was the friends we betrayed along the way. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go scream into the void of our SQL database.