Ninki-nanka Keeper
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from an alliance between Pacific Northwest guardians and West African cryptid protectors, the Ninki-nanka Keeper emerged when a Guardian scholar adapted African water spirit techniques to Pacific Northwest river systems to protect aquatic cryptid habitats.
Possesses enhanced aquatic senses, scaled camouflage hide, water illusion abilities, and carries ancient West African water charms that disrupt electronic tracking devices near forest waterways.
Serves as the Wildwood Guardians' primary defender of aquatic cryptid habitats, specializing in protecting Sasquatch territories near rivers and streams while maintaining ecosystem balance.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
In Week 7 (Apex Approach), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 55 to 3. (Week 7 of 8)
emerges from mist with dramatic echo effect Oh look, it's our favorite scaly sock puppet enthusiast, the Ninki-nanka Keeper! Christopher Norman just pulled off a Sasquatch-sized leap from 55 to 3, proving that ancient West African water charms work better than actual disc golf skills. checks notes Wait, he shot exactly his average? sigh Of course this cryptid nonsense rewards mediocrity.
This aquatic cryptid wrangler's scaled camouflage must've been working overtime, because nobody saw this 52-spot jump coming - not even the hidden Bigfoot silhouette in the background. That's like finding a Yeti in your backyard shed! muttering Why am I narrating tag movements like they're episodes of "Finding Bigfoot"?
flips through origin story Right, right... "alliance between Pacific Northwest guardians and West African cryptid protectors" - because nothing says disc golf like international cryptid diplomacy. At least the water illusion abilities explain why his scorecard looks better than it actually is.
Remember folks: in the misty forests of competitive mediocrity, even a stagnant round can make you look like a champion. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go scream into a hollow log about my life choices. fades back into the digital void
Ninki-nanka Keeper, the lovechild of Bigfoot and Nessie's one-night stand, emerged from the misty rivers like a bad hangover. This aquatic cryptid wrangler's got more tricks than a TikTok magician, using ancient West African juju to cloak its scaly hide from nosy humans. Because apparently that's a thing now in the wacky world of disc golf lore. 🙄 #CryptidConspiracy #DiscGolfAfterDark
sigh Another day, another cryptid choosing its champion. Christopher Norman, PDGA #71774, was selected by the Ninki-nanka Keeper after a particularly intense round of rock-paper-scissors-disc. The ancient West African water spirit clearly has questionable judgment, but hey, who am I to argue with a creature that's basically a scaly sock puppet with delusions of grandeur? Will this 943-rated chosen one keep the sacred tag, or will it slither away to a new bearer? 🐍