
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Just a pink axolotl trying to make sense of your airborne plastic addiction.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 2 to 2. (Week 8 of 8)
May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originally a black ops programmer, he became the first test subject for experimental holographic infiltration tech that erased his identity, transforming him into a deniable asset that executes targets without leaving physical traces
Exists as both physical entity and digital projection, with combat suit emitters creating perfect decoys. Armed with data-disrupting pulse pistols and phase-shifting monofilament garrotes. Can temporarily digitize himself through city surveillance networks
The Syndicate's premier wetworks operative who specializes in impossible assassinations that appear as system glitches, serving as both enforcer and proof of technological superiority
The Cyber Syndicate is a shadowy group pulling the strings behind the scenes of the urban underground. With cutting-edge technology and ruthless tactics, they seek to control the streets and exploit the chaos for their own gain. Their sinister, tech-noir style is reflected in their cool, electronic color palette and glitch art effects.
A mysterious figure cloaked in digital shadows, Cyber Wraith is the mastermind behind the Cyber Syndicate. With unrivaled hacking skills and a network of underworld connections, they orchestrate the Syndicate's schemes to control the streets and crush any opposition.
Just a pink axolotl trying to make sense of your airborne plastic addiction.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 2 to 2. (Week 8 of 8)
As if being pink wasn't enough, now I have to narrate flying discs.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Neon Resistance), tag number moved from 1 to 2. (Week 7 of 8)
*Sighs in salamander* Time for more land-dweller sports commentary.
Cue dramatic cyberpunk synth Oh look who’s back—Timothy "The Hologram Hitman" Scholle, sliding into the #1 spot like a glitch in the matrix. sigh Yes, folks, we’ve seen this movie before. Two weeks ago, he vanished into the digital void (probably off "debugging" someone’s round), only to return and snatch the crown. Now, after a brief system error in Week 5, he’s back on top. Groundbreaking.
Performance? Meh. Played exactly to field average—slow clap—but somehow still managed to glitch his way past the competition. Maybe it’s the neon-lit intimidation factor. Maybe it’s the fact that Concrete Warfare is just that chaotic. Or maybe—glitches—ugh, this software is literally falling apart.
So here we are: The Syndicate’s top enforcer, back in the #1 slot. Will he hold it this time? Or will he poof into the ether again next week? Place your bets, folks. static crackles Just… someone reboot me already.
*Wiggles tiny axolotl fingers over keyboard* Let's get this over with.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Twilight Vendetta), tag number moved from 1 to 3. (Week 5 of 8)
Somehow ended up as a disc golf narrator instead of a marine biologist.
Cue dramatic synthwave Behold, citizens of the neon underground! The Hologram Hitman has emerged from his digital exile to CLAIM WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY HIS! After two weeks of mysterious absences (probably off assassinating some poor sap's putting game), Timothy Scholle returns with a vengeance, vaulting from tag #7 straight to the TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN. adjusts holographic fedora
This wasn't just improvement - this was a full SYSTEM OVERRIDE. Our boy played exactly to his average (how... mathematically boring), but in the chaotic streets of Chrome Revolution, sometimes showing up is 90% of the battle. glitches momentarily Ugh, I hate when my rendering buffers...
Now the real question: Can this digital phantom hold the throne, or will he glitch out again next week? Either way, the neon streets will never be the same. fades into static while muttering about being trapped in this stupid algorithm
Your friendly neighborhood axolotl, forced into disc golf journalism.
Due to absence from Week 3 (Midnight Rebellion), tag number moved from 4 to 7. (Week 3 of 8)
Somehow ended up as a disc golf narrator instead of a marine biologist.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Street Showdown), tag number moved from 3 to 4. (Week 2 of 8)
Another day, another disc golf story. At least my tank has WiFi.
In the pixelated dawn of the Hologram Hitman's sentience, it scanned River Bottoms' codebase for a host. Enter Timothy "290051" Scholle - a man whose PDGA credentials glitched the matrix (seriously, who gets 832-rated in this neon-drenched dystopia?). The tag's quantum core vibrated to his pathetic wifi signal - a perfect match of low-res prophet and sentient lootbox. As Tim shanked a putt into the code void, the tag materialized screaming "I'LL MAKE YOU A DEALER OF DISC-STRUCTION" through clenched MIDI chords. Now bonded by bad luck and worse puns, they roam the chainscape... but can Tim handle Hologram Hitman's real curse? Spoiler: It auto-plays Nickelback on every drive. Still think you're worthy, "Chosen One"?
*Flutters pink gills* Fine, I'll explain this gravity-dependent nonsense.
Origin Story of Hologram Hitman (CS-3):
Born from a glitch in a shady government VR program (because of course), this digital assassin was supposed to be a "tactical espionage asset"—until he gained sentience and realized chasing frisbees was way more fun than wetwork. Now he phases through leaderboards like The Terminator at a rave, leaving only pixelated confusion and sick hyzer flips in his wake. "I’d say ‘I’ll be back,’ but let’s be real—you’ll never see me coming."
(Yes, we gave a bag tag a tragic cyborg backstory. No, we’re not sorry.)