
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story
When John Montague PDGA #307697 (decoded by our sentient AI as "3 confirmed aces, 0 chill") fed a glow Roc into a cursed vending machine, Neon Commando erupted screaming into reality. Its targeting systems locked onto his perfect ratio of "disc charger enthusiasm" to "forgetting scorecard pens." The tag’s cybernetic core vibrated with approval as John nailed a 75ft grenade-putt… then facepalmed when he tripped over a literal chainsaw-wielding lawn gnome. Does this cybernetically-enhanced frisbee dominatrix truly want a champion whose go-to post-round snack is gas station taquitos? Sigh. But hey—at least his glow game outshines his short-term memory. Can Montague handle the pressure… or will this tag’s neon vengeance demand a discount?