
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Crunching through the Himalayan snow Oh look, it's our favorite cryptid-tracker-turned-disc-loser, Herald Nilo! The Mapinguari Scout tag (still questioning its life choices) watches as Herald barely outpaces his usual dumpster fire of a round. +3.5 over field average? In this economy? That's like finding a Yeti footprint in a Walmart parking lot.
Dramatic snow swirl Your tag moves from 7 to 6 - congratulations, you've achieved the disc golf equivalent of climbing one stair in an avalanche. The tag's Amazonian nose wrinkles at your "improvement," remembering when it tracked actual cryptids instead of your shanked hyzers.
Breaking the fourth wall: Why am I narrating this like it's The Revenant when we all know it's just some dude in cargo shorts missing 15-foot putts?
Flashback to last week Remember when I said this tag regrets its existence? It just whispered "kill...me..." in Yeti.
Closing thought: At this rate, maybe you'll hit top 5 by the heat death of the universe. Tag whimpers in Portuguese