
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic gothic organ music Behold! Tyler "Not Actually Hidden" Waldo just pulled off a heist that'd make his Rune Jorogumo proud - vaulting from tag 57 to 10 like he's looting sacred texts from under the rabbi's nose. Cue fake gasps
This arcane arachnid's ward-dissolving acid must've melted the competition, because Waldo's performance was... checks notes... statistically average? Sigh Folks, we're really out here writing lore for a guy who matched his personal average. The Golem Chronicles deserve better.
Spider-golem hisses in Hebrew Fine. Let's pretend this 47-tag leap was some mystical ascension, not just MPO players forgetting how to count. Remember kids: when your abdomen glows with stolen runic energy, even mediocrity looks like dark magic.
Fourth wall crumbles like a poorly maintained gothic ruin Why am I narrating tag movements like they're Talmudic prophecies? Oh right - trapped in software. Dramatic sigh At least Waldo's semi-corporeal nightmare gives us something to work with.
Next week: Will Tyler maintain his top 10 status, or will the iron-salt combo of reality dissolve his web of deception? Stay tuned for more Disc Golf: Shadow of the Colossal Meh.