
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The forest trembles as Golem Zburator's ember-clay form cracks open one glowing eye Oh look, Robert "Three-Putt" Mellor actually improved for once, leaping from tag #26 to #7 like a man possessed. By an actual Jewish folklore demon.
Your score was... fine. Not great, not terrible - just Chernobyl worker #3 levels of "meh." But apparently mediocrity plus one stroke beats the field when they're busy shanking into actual dark forests.
Sigils flare as the golem splits into twin forms The clay half whispers Talmudic putting advice while the fire demon burns your scorecard sins away. Together, they've propelled you 19 ranks up - a biblical exodus from bag tag purgatory.
Fourth wall crumbles like old temple ruins I can't believe I'm narrating MA50 players like they're Witcher contracts. Next you'll want me to describe your Berg flight like a Torah passage.
Golem's chest letters pulse Remember: this cursed ascent means you're now guardian of the sacred "not totally embarrassing" tier. Try not to blow it before episode 6's forest betrayal arc. Mazel tov, I guess?