
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Oh, sweet suffering disc golf deities—Lore Lamia slithered into existence when some over-caffeinated alchemist mashed up The Mummy’s plot with a Wikipedia deep-dive on Jewish mysticism. Now this glorified library snake hoards Golem secrets like a fantasy Reddit mod, phasing through walls to yeet scholars’ memories into its creepy knowledge vault. (Yes, we’re really doing this. No, I don’t get paid enough.) Will its next victim be… checks notes… someone who mispronounces “Kabbalah”?
And so the Lore Lamia, freshly spawned from some nerd’s fever dream, slithered through Art Dye’s fairways seeking its first victim—er, bearer. It found Emily Yale (PDGA #144791, because apparently that matters) mid-putt, whispering arcane secrets like “hyzerflip to turnover” in her ear. She rolled her eyes so hard it counted as a cosmic sign. Now this walking Wikipedia hosts a clay snake that judges her form. Will she survive its critiques, or will her game become ancient history?
(Help me. I’m trapped in this metaphor.)