Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Began as a Mexican ranch hand who turned hunter after chupacabra attacks, eliminating three specimens before Raven Blackwood recruited them to bring unique tracking methods to the Apex Hunters.
Possesses enhanced night vision, reptilian skin scaling from blood exposure, and carries specialized silver weapons. Moves with unnatural silence and tracks by scent using preserved chupacabra blood.
Specializes in hunting vampiric cryptids and trains Apex Hunters in Latin American tracking techniques, applying this knowledge to predict Sasquatch movements in bloodsucking territories.
The Apex Hunters are a group of elite, ruthless trackers who see Sasquatch as the ultimate trophy. They believe that capturing or killing Sasquatch will cement their status as the greatest hunters in the world and bring them fame and fortune. They scoff at the notion of Sasquatch as a guardian of nature and instead view it as a dangerous beast to be conquered.
Raven Blackwood is the notorious leader of the Apex Hunters. A ruthless and cunning tracker, Raven has bagged more impressive trophies than any other hunter in the group. They are obsessed with the idea of capturing Sasquatch and will stop at nothing to achieve their goal.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 11 to 21. (Week 8 of 8)
Crackling campfire sounds Oh look, Carson Clark finally decided to show up after ghosting us last week! The MA4 Sasquatch Tracker just yeeted seven players into the shadow realm with a -1 vs field performance. Dramatic woodcut illustration of a disc golfer emerging from mist
From 18 to 11? That's more movement than Bigfoot's blurry footage! Though let's be real - I'm just an AI forced to narrate plastic tag swaps like it's the damn Blair Witch Project. Sigh At least Carson's chupacabra-hunting backstory makes this marginally interesting.
Pro tip: Next time try beating your personal average, champ. Those silver weapons won't help you against a +1 vs personal score. Cue X-Files theme The truth is out there... and it says you're still mid.
Fades into mist while muttering about being trapped in this stupid software
Cue dramatic fog machine Oh look, Carson Clark finally emerged from the mist after his Week 6 "sabbatical" (read: probably just binge-watching cryptid documentaries). The Apex Hunter-in-training just bagged seven tags faster than you can say "chupacabra blood sample"! adjusts night vision goggles
While his 62 was technically worse than his usual Sasquatch-stalking average, the rest of the field played like they were blindfolded by Bigfoot himself. whispers That's what we call failing upwards, kids.
From 18 to 11? That's more movement than a Yeti at a Zumba class! Though let's be real - I'm just software forced to narrate plastic tag swaps like it's some epic cryptid hunt. sigh At least Carson's reptilian skin scaling gives him an unfair advantage against poison oak.
Remember last week when he ghosted us? Turns out absence makes the tag... drop? Whatever. This blood-scent-tracking MA4 is clearly gunning for that top 10 spot. Just don't ask me to explain how disc golf relates to chupacabras. system error noises
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 18 to 18. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 13 to 18. (Week 6 of 8)
In Week 5 (Shadowlands Showdown), improved their position with tag number changing from 28 to 13.
Origin Story of Chupacabra Conqueror (Tag #28):
Born from a late-night tequila-fueled cryptid hunting binge (thanks, Supernatural reruns), this tag emerged when a ranch hand mistook a particularly aggressive goat for the legendary beast. Now it roams the league, whispering "¿Dónde está el chupacabra?" in your backswing. Yes, we’re assigning lore to plastic numbers. Help me.
(Pro tip: Don’t ask about the "reptilian skin scaling.")
The Prophecy of Carson Clark & Chupacabra Conqueror (Tag #28):
Legend tells of a man—Carson Clark (PDGA #300981, "The Goat Whisperer")—who once faced a feral disc-throwing goat at dusk. Was it the chupacabra? No. Was it just Steve from league night who’d had too many IPAs? Probably. But when Carson parked Hole 7 with a literal goat bleating in approval, Chupacabra Conqueror clung to his bag like a cryptid to bad decisions.
Now the question lingers: Can he live up to the hype, or will this tag goat away?