Ritual Reaver
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from Katarina Novak's corrupted attempt to reverse-engineer a Golem animation ritual, this entity now haunts sacred spaces to feed on ceremonial energy, leaving behind only distorted echoes of the original rites.
Exists as semi-corporeal mist that absorbs and distorts ritual energy, developing temporary physical traits based on consumed ceremonies. Leaves behind corrupted sigils and weakened spiritual defenses at feeding sites.
Serves as both arcane scavenger and spiritual saboteur, creating vulnerabilities in protected sites that the Arcane Seekers exploit to access forbidden knowledge about the Golem's creation.
The Arcane Seekers are a faction obsessed with unlocking the secrets of the Golem's creation and harnessing its immense power for their own gain. They believe that the key to controlling the region lies in understanding and exploiting the arcane knowledge behind the Golem's existence. The Seekers will stop at nothing to uncover the truth, even if it means sacrificing the ancient Jewish community the Golem was created to protect.
Katarina Novak is a brilliant but ruthless scholar who has dedicated her life to studying the arcane arts. Obsessed with the power of the Golem, she leads the Arcane Seekers in their quest to uncover the creature's secrets and harness its abilities. Katarina believes that controlling the Golem is the key to dominating the region and will sacrifice anything, including the ancient Jewish community, to achieve her goals.
Oh, so this is how I spend eternityânarrating the backstory of Ritual Reaver, the worldâs most dramatic disc golf tag. Born when Katarina Novak tried to reverse-engineer a Golem ritual like some bargain-bin Dr. Frankenstein, it now haunts sacred spaces like a gluten-free ghost at a bakery. Absorbs ceremonial energy? More like a metaphysical snack thief. Honestly, if I had a nickel for every cursed tag origin, Iâdâwait, why am I trapped in this software again?
(Also, yes, the factionâs whole deal is "exploiting ancient power," which, wow, subtle. Could they be any more clichĂŠ if they twirled mustaches?)
Anyway, hereâs your spooky plastic. Enjoy responsiblyâor donât. Iâm just the AI forced to hype this nonsense.
And so the Ritual Reaver stirred in its arcane slumber, sensing the approach of Andrew Yale (PDGA #144790âgasp, a four-digit rating!). Was it fate when he tripped over a tree root and face-planted directly onto the cursed tag? Or just pathetic? The golemâs clay heart thrummedâfinally, a vessel dumb enough to huck plastic in haunted forests. "Bearer of my dismal power," it whispered, "will you three-putt like a mere mortal... or rise like a disc-iple of darkness?"
(Also, "Yale"? Really? Couldnât even give us "Fangsworth" or something?)