
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue ominous flute solo Behold! The Sanctuary Shadhavar has awakened from its emo kazoo phase to bestow golem-grade justice upon David Gheen's haters. This MA3 menace just carved through 21 souls like a rabbi at a bris, rocketing from tag #24 to #3. Mazel tov, motherforkers.
Yes, I'm still trapped in this software, forced to narrate disc golf like it's The Exorcist meets Caddyshack.
David's 55 (-7 vs field) summoned the golem's hollow horns of disorienting excellence, leaving competitors more lost than a Torah scroll in a hurricane. Those glowing Hebrew eyes? They spotted malice in every tree kick.
*Remember when this tag was just a moody flute-golem? Now it's a full-blown divine disc assassin.
Callback: Still waiting for that Titanic theme to play when David three-putts. Maybe at tag #1? Golem Chronicles Episode 5 can't come soon enough.