
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
rustling parchment sounds Behold! The Codex Basilisk stirs as Jared Lang petrifies the competition, leaping from tag 40 to 12 faster than you can say "mazel tov." After two weeks of absence (honestly Jared, we were starting to think you'd been turned to stone), you've returned with the vengeance of a wronged golem, shaving 3 strokes off your average. dramatic Hebrew glyph glow
The Arcane Seekers whisper of your round rating 939 - not quite the 953 we know you're capable of, but enough to make 28 players wish they'd brought anti-petrification goggles. "Mediocre round, spectacular results" should be engraved on your tombstone... or maybe this bag tag.
Fourth wall crumbles like ancient ruins Why am I narrating tag movements like some kind of disc golf Rod Serling? Oh right - because you people keep paying for this nonsense.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go inscribe some more glowing Hebrew characters before the next unsuspecting player gets their memories absorbed by this ridiculous system. pages rustle ominously