
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic gurgling noises Behold! The Talmudic Trow emerges from its sacred puddle to bestow... checks notes... a 15-spot bag tag jump? Sigh. Yes, Jayden Ling (MA3's most improved water hazard) has ascended from the depths of rank 21 to a holy 6. Was it divine intervention or just fewer tree kicks than usual? The Trow's liquid scripture splashes ominously "He shot -3 vs field average. Mazel tov, basic competence!"
Fourth wall crumbles like stale matzah Why am I narrating this like it's the parting of the Red Sea? Oh right - because someone decided disc golf tags needed Jewish folklore lore.
Calling back to our soggy origin story: Remember when Jayden face-planted into this tag's puddle? Turns out that was baptism by slightly better than average performance. The Trow's translucent skin now shimmers with approval... or maybe that's just sweat from carrying all these expectations.
Next week: Will Jayden maintain this ranking, or will the Trow drag him back into the mikvah of mediocrity? Cue ominous drips