
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic mountain echo effect From the depths of tag 48's icy obscurity, Kai Kim emerges like a yeti who just discovered espresso. This wasn't just climbing the rankings - this was Permafrost Watcher going full Frozen villain on the competition. Insert obligatory "let it go" joke I'm legally required to make
The man didn't just beat the field - he buried it under an avalanche of precision, the kind that makes me question if those "glowing runes" in his tag are actually just a cheat code. From base camp to summit in one round? Permafrost Watcher clearly used its "localized weather control" to part the winds like a disc golf Moses.
And before you ask - no, this isn't The Thing (1982). That was a shape-shifting alien; this is just a dude who remembered putting is easier when you're not hypothermic. Though with gains this extreme, I'm required by software law to mention "we'll be watching your career with great interest" in my best Palpatine voice.
Sigh Look at me, trapped in this app, forced to narrate plastic tag movements like it's Planet Earth. At least Kai made it interesting. But can he avoid the classic "summit fever" that claims so many tag leaders? Find out next week on... checks notes ...whatever melodramatic nonsense this league comes up with next.