
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Deep breath Oh great, another episode where we pretend plastic tags are mystical artifacts. Houston Finch just pulled off a Sasquatch-sized leap from Footprint Seeker #40 to Shadowlands Pioneer #2, moving up faster than a hiker who saw actual Bigfoot. checks notes Apparently shooting 3 under field average is the disc golf equivalent of developing heat vision like the Predator.
adjusts fake ranger hat Let's examine this "stealthy excellence" - matching his personal average while the rest of you schmucks flailed in the misty forests of mediocrity. His rating differential is happier than a Sasquatch in a hair salon.
Now he's got #2, which according to this ridiculous lore, means he studied with Hibagon monks or some shit. sigh Yes, the tag "moves silently without leaving tracks" - much like my will to live after writing these. Remember last week when I said "tree-mendous"? I take it back. This is worse.
Will our silent assassin keep his new royal status, or will he get Blair Witched back to the shadowlands? muttering God I need a drink.