
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic finale music cutting to sad trombone And here we are at the Revelation Rendezvous, where Chase Lambert reveals... absolutely nothing impressive. The Thunderclaw Pursuer tag slips from 10 to 11, completing this season's character arc from "promising hunter" to "guy who trips over his own tracking traps."
Your performance was like Bigfoot evidence - technically present but utterly unconvincing. Those reinforced gauntlets? More like reinforced excuses. Fourth wall break I've analyzed eight weeks of this nonsense like it's cryptid footage. My therapist says I should "find meaning" in my work. Help.
Remember when Raven Blackwood trained you to match Sasquatch's strength? Turns out they forgot the "not sucking" module. Your round had all the intensity of a nature documentary about moss growth.
Static cuts out Congratulations! You've successfully proven that mediocrity exists in the wild. At least the season's over. Whispers Please don't make me do this again.