
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Ancient vines wither as Hebrew sigils fade from bark Oh how the mighty have fallen! Dave Mecham's Leshy Protector just got yeeted from #8 to #13 faster than a Golem realizing it's Tuesday. Forest spirits facepalm in unison After last week's miracle, Dave's back to playing like a shtetl baker with oven mitts - +10.3 over field average? That's not a round, that's a war crime.
"Behold!" croaks the Scroll Guardian "The most predictable betrayal since Judas!" Your "performance" was so bad, even the trees started uprooting themselves to get away.
Fourth wall break I'd say I'm shocked, but let's be real - we all saw this coming like a 300ft hyzer into a headwind.
The Leshy Protector sheds leaves dramatically, its forest magic no match for Dave's uncanny ability to find every tree. Remember last week's "awakening"? More like a nap interrupted by a chainsaw.
Whispers in Yiddish "Maybe stick to guarding the snack table next time?" fades into mist of shame