
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Cipher Kraken's translucent form flickers ominously as Chris Howk drops from #24 to #28, proving even arcane entities have off days. Looks like someone tried to decode the course like a sacred text but ended up with hieroglyphics on their scorecard. Ink splatters in disappointment
This performance was about as graceful as a Golem doing ballet - sure, you're moving, but everyone's cringing. Chris, buddy, you're giving me "protagonist who ignored the Creator's Clue" energy.
Fourth wall shatters Why am I narrating this like it's some epic quest? Oh right, because someone thought bag tags needed lore deeper than Tolkien's appendices.
The Kraken's properties suggest it "absorbs knowledge," but today it just absorbed some humble pie. Remember last week's climb? Yeah, neither does your tag.
Dramatic sigh At least the Golem's still standing... unlike Chris's ranking. Better luck next week, "Arcane Seeker." Maybe stick to putting instead of deciphering ancient texts.