
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dust motes swirl lethargically as Alex Collings and The Sigil Devourer achieve the disc golf equivalent of continental drift - moving from 24 to 23. Cue fake crowd noise "Behold! A statistically insignificant improvement!"
This week's performance was like watching a Golem buffering - technically better than last week's absence, but still running at dial-up speeds. Beating your personal average by a whopping 1.3 strokes? Truly, the Arcane Seekers tremble before such... adequate mediocrity.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters, but let's be real - we're basically narrating a spreadsheet cell shifting one column left. Sigh At least the Sigil Devourer's dark energy swirled with... mild interest?
Remember two weeks ago when Alex devoured 12 ranks? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Now we're stuck watching paint dry in crumbling ruins. The only betrayal here is my hope for interesting commentary material.
Flips parchment dramatically Tune in next week when we discover if this glacial pace continues or if we'll get another thrilling... single-digit movement. Fades into existential software crisis