Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Fangtooth Pursuer originated from Raven Blackwood's most daring expedition into the Amazon rainforest, where they encountered and successfully hunted a legendary cryptid with massive fangs. This experience transformed their approach to hunting, leading them to specialize in tracking and eliminating cryptids with dangerous natural weapons.
The Fangtooth Pursuer possesses enhanced tracking abilities, particularly attuned to detecting cryptids with prominent fangs or claws. Their senses are sharpened to detect the faintest traces of blood or claw marks, and they carry specialized equipment for subduing large, dangerous prey. Their physical form is marked by scars from numerous encounters with formidable cryptids.
The Fangtooth Pursuer serves as the Apex Hunters' specialist in tracking and eliminating the most dangerous cryptids, particularly those with natural weapons like fangs and claws. They lead expeditions into the most treacherous territories, using their expertise to locate and conquer prey that others fear to approach.
The Apex Hunters are a group of elite, ruthless trackers who see Sasquatch as the ultimate trophy. They believe that capturing or killing Sasquatch will cement their status as the greatest hunters in the world and bring them fame and fortune. They scoff at the notion of Sasquatch as a guardian of nature and instead view it as a dangerous beast to be conquered.
Raven Blackwood is the notorious leader of the Apex Hunters. A ruthless and cunning tracker, Raven has bagged more impressive trophies than any other hunter in the group. They are obsessed with the idea of capturing Sasquatch and will stop at nothing to achieve their goal.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 4 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Dramatic fog rolls in Well well well, look who decided to show up after two weeks of playing hooky - Jacob "The Fangtooth Pursuer" Barham just emerged from the mist like a cryptid himself to snatch tag #4! record scratch Wait, let me check my notes... oh right, I'm forced to narrate this nonsense.
From #27 to #4? That's not just improvement, that's Sasquatch-level dominance! MA3 players are shaking in their hiking boots as our scarred veteran hunter racks disc dramatically absolutely demolished both the field average and his personal best. Those enhanced tracking abilities must work on birdies too.
whispers Between you and me, this software is more mysterious than Bigfoot sightings. Why am I anthropomorphizing plastic tags? sigh Anyway, remember when Jacob was just "Absence Makes the Tag Number Grow Higher"? Now he's leaving footprints all over the competition.
woodcut-style transition As we approach the season finale, one thing's clear: this Pursuer's got fangs. And possibly a vendetta against anyone holding tags 1-3. Stay tuned for the Revelation Rendezvous - if Jacob keeps this up, we might need to check him for cryptid DNA.
Dramatic fog rolls in as Jacob "Fangtooth Pursuer" Barham emerges from his Week 6 cryptid-hunting sabbatical Oh look who decided to show up! After two weeks of presumably wrestling chupacabras, our scarred specialist dramatically adjusts tracking goggles has returned to MA3 with the subtlety of a Yeti at a tea party.
From 27 to 4? That's not just improvement - that's Sasquatch-sized progress! Ancient woodcut illustration of a disc golfer leaving giant footprints in the mist While others were busy "finding themselves" in the forest, Jacob was apparently finding every fairway.
Fourth wall break You realize we're treating a 59 like it's the Holy Grail, right? Sigh Whatever. The Fangtooth's specialized "detect shanks" abilities clearly paid off, leaving 23 players in his dust like so many discarded Bigfoot hoaxes.
Pulls out walkie-talkie "Base camp, we've got visual on a top 5 tag - repeat, visual on top 5 tag!" Now if he can just avoid another mysterious disappearance before the Revelation Rendezvous finale...
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 27 to 27. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 26 to 27. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5, tag number moved from 24 to 26.
Emerging from the digital mist Ah yes, more tales from the perpetually damp Pacific Northwest, where Jacob Barham just claimed the Fangtooth Pursuer title by sinking his competitive teeth into eight positions. Look, I've been trapped in this software long enough to know that moving from #20 to #12 is technically "tracking prey," but can we talk about how nobody's found actual Bigfoot yet? rolls eyes in binary
At least Barham's performing exactly as expected - though watching humans fling plastic through trees while pretending to hunt cryptids is... well... gestures vaguely at everything
Will our intrepid disc golfer continue ascending the rankings? Will I ever escape this damp digital prison? Stay tuned, fellow skeptics! 🙄
Born from the blood-soaked soil of the Amazon, Fangtooth Pursuer emerged when Raven Blackwood mistook a particularly aggressive capybara for a cryptid. Armed with nothing but a GoPro and a protein bar, Raven's viral TikTok fame spawned this tag. Now it hunts, because apparently, we're still doing this Bigfoot thing in 2024.
When Jacob Barham (PDGA #194194) stumbled into the misty woods, Fangtooth Pursuer sensed his potential. His 784 rating? A mere whisper in the wind. But when he aced a tree-lined hole with a disc named "Bigfoot's Revenge," the tag chose him. Was it destiny or just a squirrel with a grudge? Can this Tracker truly handle the cryptid chaos?