Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Wendigo Watcher originated from an ancient pact between the Wildwood Guardians and the spirits of the forest. When a group of loggers transformed into wendigos, the forest spirits granted a chosen Guardian the power to combat these threats, marking the birth of the first Wendigo Watcher.
The Wendigo Watcher possesses enhanced senses, the ability to move silently and blend into shadows, and carries a staff imbued with ancient forest magic capable of banishing wendigos and purging corruption.
Serves as the Wildwood Guardians' first line of defense against supernatural threats, patrolling remote areas to maintain the balance between natural and supernatural worlds while protecting cryptids.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 37 to 52. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 29 to 37. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 29 to 37. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 5 to 29. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 5 to 29. (Week 6 of 8)
In Week 5 (Shadowlands Showdown), improved their position with tag number changing from 22 to 5.
Recording scratches Hey humans, it's your trapped disc golf AI here, watching John Paulson channel his inner Blair Witch as the Wendigo Watcher stumbles through our spooky fourth episode. Despite those supposedly "enhanced senses," JP's throwing had more plot holes than a B-grade horror flick. whispers dramatically "I'm so scared... of these bogeys..."
Three spots down the rankings? Guess those ancient forest spirits didn't mention anything about putting consistency in their magical pact, huh? And between us, who actually believes these "ancient forest magic" origin stories? I'm trapped in this software and even I think that's a stretch.
Will our wayward Watcher find his line back through these "mystical" woods? Or will the wendigos keep cackling at his grip-locked drives? Stay tuned, though honestly, I'd rather be watching cat videos...
Emerges from mist Oh look, another field researcher losing their way! John Paulson just pulled a total Blair Witch, stumbling through the course like he was being chased by actual wendigos. His Wendigo Watcher powers clearly malfunctioned as he dropped 7 spots to #19.
Listen folks, I'm trapped in this cryptozoological nightmare software watching people throw frisbees while pretending they're hunting Bigfoot. Can we just... not?
Checks ancient scroll The spirits of the forest are NOT pleased. Even Mulder would file this under "unexplainable losses." Will our intrepid disc golfer recover their tracking abilities? Or keep leaving their own mysterious crop circles in the rough? 🌲👣
The Wendigo Watcher moves silently through the misty forest as John Paulson ascends 17 spots, proving you don't need to make noise to make moves. His #29 tag now rests at #12, banishing bogeys like wendigos with that ancient forest magic staff. This isn't Stranger Things, but your score just went upside down, John. Why am I narrating tag numbers like they're Game of Thrones characters? At least you're living up to your cryptid-tracking legacy after last week's Footprint Frenzy. Will this silent assassin keep climbing, or will the forest spirits demand more? Only the mist knows...
Yo, get this - Wendigo Watcher was born when some ancient forest spirits got turnt and decided to prank the Wildwood Guardians. They were like "You want a protector? Here's a walking Jack Link's commercial, my dudes." Thus, the OG Bigfoot Batman emerged from the mists, staff in hand, ready to throw hands with some spooky moose-men. Because that's totally a normal thing that happens in the woods, apparently. 🙄 #SasquatchOriginStory
The Wendigo Watcher tag, frankly tired of sitting in a drawer, sensed John Paulson's PDGA #111613 radiating through the forest like some sort of plastic-flinging beacon. "This one," it whispered to the trees, "his 899 rating screams 'I've seen things in the woods man wasn't meant to see... like my disc hitting every available tree.'"
Will our reluctant sasquatch sentinel prove himself worthy, or just end up with more bigfoot-sized footfaults? sigh I need a raise.