
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Rustling leaves intensify Oh Kieran, my dear Cryptid Sentinel... your camouflage failed harder than a Yeti in a tanning bed. Dramatic woodcut illustration of a disc vanishing into mist
From 31 to 33? That's not tracking Sasquatch - that's leaving more footprints than Bigfoot at a mud run. Your +4.2 vs field would make any cryptozoologist weep into their field notes.
Fourth wall break I can't believe I'm stuck narrating this like some forest-dwelling ESPN. The only "heightened senses" here are my acute awareness of how ridiculous this all is.
Remember when you were 23? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Now you're out here getting passed like a joint at a Bigfoot convention. At least your tag's illusion powers are working - making your skills disappear completely!
Eerie mist clears to reveal Maybe next week you'll channel your inner guardian and stop throwing like a startled Mothman. Until then, enjoy your new home in the 30s - the forest floor of our little disc golf ecosystem.