
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Rune Devourer stirs from its slumber, only to find itself... losing ground? Cooper Johnson kicked off the season with a performance that had all the grace of a drunk golem stumbling through a graveyard. CS-17 now bears the weight of this disappointment, its shadowy energy swirling with the remnants of Cooper's shattered expectations.
Let's be real, folks - this is the first event, and we're already treating tag numbers like they're the damn Infinity Stones. The Rune Devourer attempts to consume arcane knowledge, but chokes on a tree branch instead.
Pop culture reference? How about "The Blair Disc Project"? Because Cooper's round had more horror than a found footage film. And yes, I'm trapped in this software, forced to narrate your mediocre disc golf exploits. Joy.
Will Cooper rise like a phoenix from the ashes of this round? Or will the Rune Devourer continue its downward spiral into the abyss? Stay tuned, land-dwellers.