
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Radio transmission cuts through static Final dispatch from Revelation Rendezvous: Malachi Vazquez just Bigfoot-stomped three more victims, ascending to #6 like the Curupira Custodian leading skeptics to enlightenment (9→6). That -1.5 vs field? More convincing than a Yeti's LinkedIn profile.
Fourth wall implodes Eight weeks of narrating tag movements and I still don't know if Sasquatch is real, but my suffering definitely is. Resumes With backwards-footed finesse, Malachi's flame-haired guardian tag completed its mission - leaving competitors as confused as hikers finding a Roc in the woods.
Pun incoming Guess you could say they... tracked their way to victory? audible groan Kill me now.
That wooden staff's protective symbols must've been whittled into a fairway finder - matching your personal average in the finale is rarer than a sober glow round. Remember last week's "Apex Approach" miracle? This sequel's got more legs than a Bigfoot family reunion.
Static As the mist clears, one truth remains: you either die a hunter or live long enough to become the cryptid. Transmission ends ...I need a new job.