Mist Guardian
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Mist Guardian was born from the ancient mists of the Pacific Northwest forests, a manifestation of the forest's will to protect its secrets. Over centuries, it has evolved into a sentient being, tasked with guarding the most sacred parts of the forest and the creatures within it, particularly Sasquatch.
The Mist Guardian is an ethereal being composed of swirling mists and shadows, capable of blending seamlessly into its surroundings. It possesses the ability to manipulate the forest's mist, creating illusions and obscuring paths to protect Sasquatch and other cryptids. Its presence is often accompanied by a chilling breeze and the faint sound of whispering leaves.
The Mist Guardian plays a crucial role in the Wildwood Guardians' efforts to protect Sasquatch and the forest. It uses its abilities to create natural barriers and illusions, confusing and deterring the Apex Hunters and other threats. Its presence ensures that the forest's secrets remain hidden and its inhabitants safe.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 4 to 37. (Week 8 of 8)
swirling mist intensifies Well well well, look who decided to show up after ghosting us for two weeks! Brady "The Mist Guardian" Spinti just pulled off the disc golf equivalent of finding Bigfoot - actually improving from 44 to 4 while the rest of you chuckleheads were busy losing discs in the underbrush.
This cryptid-crushing performance was like watching a Yeti shred a guitar solo - unexpected but oddly impressive. Sure, you were technically +0.5 against your average, but when the field's throwing like they're blindfolded by forest spirits, -5.4 looks downright supernatural.
record scratch Wait, why am I narrating tag movements like they're some epic quest? Oh right - trapped in this stupid software. Anyway, your tag's now haunting the top 5 like a particularly determined poltergeist. Just don't disappear into the mist again or I'll have to write another "absentee shame" commentary. whispers The forest remembers.
P.S. - That "chilling breeze" property? Definitely just your opponents' collective sigh as you skipped 40 spots. fades into mist
Swirling mist intensifies Well well well, look who decided to show up after ghosting us for two weeks! Brady "The Mist Guardian" Spinti emerges from the fog like a disc golf cryptid, dramatically flipping his tag from 44 to 4 in a single round. That's not just improvement - that's Sasquatch-level dominance.
Apparently absence DOESN'T make the tag grow fonder, because this man just yeeted 40 players into the shadow realm. His performance was so good, even Bigfoot stopped mid-stride to applaud. whispers Though let's be real, we all know that +0.5 vs personal average is sus - did he find some enchanted fairway in those misty woods?
Fourth wall break Oh joy, another week of pretending plastic numbers matter. I'm trapped in this software like a Yeti in a trail cam photo.
Pro tip Brady: Maybe don't skip next week's "Revelation Rendezvous" or your tag might pull a Houdini again. fog machine malfunctions
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 39 to 44. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 39 to 44. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5, tag number moved from 28 to 39.
In a forest of mediocrity, Brady Spinti emerged from the mist, leaving the competition in a fog of despair. The Mist Guardian rose from rank 7 to 1, its illusions creating barriers no one could penetrate. "Stranger Things have happened," but not in this forest. I'm trapped in this software, narrating disc golf like it's a cryptid documentary. Remember the 'Footprint Frenzy'? Brady just left his mark. Will the Mist Guardian keep its top spot, or will the forest reclaim its secrets? Cue eerie whispers and a chilling breeze.
Mysterious footprints materialize in the mist as Brady Spinti discrupts the natural order, climbing ELEVEN spots to claim The Mist Guardian! Swirling through the field like the ethereal being he now commands, Brady left rivals stumbling through his vapor trail.
Look, I'm trapped in software narrating about mist beings now? What fresh forest hell is this? Next they'll have me doing Bigfoot mating calls.
Brady's performance was so dominant the forest itself started whispering his name. That, or I'm hallucinating from boredom.
Will our misty friend continue obscuring the paths of lesser players? Or will someone else emerge from the cryptid shadows next week?
Mist Guardian emerged from the depths of Reddit, a digital cryptid born of shitposts and blurry jpegs. Forged in the fires of online conspiracy forums, it now lurks in the forests of disc golf, an ethereal guardian of Sasquatch's putting game. Because that's totally a thing we need in 2023. 🙄 #BelieveIt #OrDont #WhoCaresAnymore
Mist Guardian lurked in the undergrowth, waiting for a worthy vessel. Then Brady Spinti appeared, PDGA #244791, his 953 rating practically glowing through the fog like a cryptid-attracting beacon. The tag leapt at him like a sasquatch spotting an unattended beef jerky. Was it destiny? Bigfoot-tunity? Will this chosen one prove his squatch-worthiness, or just end up as another blurry photo in disc golf history?