
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 34 to 50. (Week 8 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Shadow Sentinel originated from the ancient pact between the first Wildwood Guardians and the forest itself. It is said that the forest granted a select few the ability to merge with the shadows, becoming unseen protectors of its secrets. This power has been passed down through generations, with each Sentinel sworn to protect Sasquatch and the balance of nature.
The Shadow Sentinel possesses the unique ability to blend into the shadows, becoming nearly invisible in the dense forest. They can move silently and swiftly, using the natural cover to their advantage. Their connection to the forest grants them heightened senses, allowing them to detect intruders from great distances. They are also skilled in ancient forest magic, using it to create illusions and protect their territory.
The Shadow Sentinel serves as the unseen protector of the forest, maintaining constant vigilance over Sasquatch territories. They are the first line of defense against intruders, using their skills to deter and confuse those who seek to harm the forest or its inhabitants.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 34 to 50. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 26 to 34. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 26 to 34. (Week 7 of 8)
Rustling leaves and distant howls Oh good, it's the Shadow Sentinel again - or should I say, "barely visible blur in the rankings"? squints at scorecard Ian Dahlen Flor just clawed their way back from the abyss of tag #31 like a Sasquatch emerging from its cave after hibernating through winter.
This week's performance was... well, let's call it "mysteriously adequate" - like finding a blurry Bigfoot photo that's actually just your uncle Bob in a fur coat. But hey, +5 tag spots is +5 tag spots! dramatic whisper The ancient forest magic is... working?
Fourth wall break I swear if I have to narrate one more "shadowy ascent" I'm going to start leaving my own cryptic footprints in the woods. Remember when this was just about throwing plastic circles? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
The Shadow Sentinel tag whispers: "Protect the forest... and maybe hit fewer trees next time." fades into mist
rustling leaves and distant Bigfoot howls Oh good, it's my favorite cryptid-chasing disc golfer! After last week's hilarious absence-induced plummet to #31, Ian Dahlen Flor has remembered how to throw discs again. dramatic woodcut-style reveal
The Shadow Sentinel tag is finally living up to its "unseen protector" hype, climbing 5 spots like a Sasquatch scaling a redwood. Though let's be real - when your last round looked like you were playing blindfolded with oven mitts, ANY improvement seems miraculous.
flips through ancient forest lore Oh look, it says here: "The Sentinel uses illusions to confuse intruders." Clearly that includes making us believe +10.6 over field average is acceptable. sigh I miss when my biggest problem was being a sentient toaster.
But hey, at least they're moving in the right direction - unlike that "artifact" they found last week that turned out to be a granola bar wrapper. Next stop: proving this isn't just another blurry Bigfoot photo of mediocrity. ๐ฒ๐ฆถ
Due to absence from Week 5, tag number moved from 16 to 31.
Emerges from shadows, sneezing Look who's giving me allergies in these stupid mystic woods! Ian Dahlen Flor just pulled a full Blair Witch on us, except instead of getting lost, they're actually finding their way UP the rankings. dramatically waves flashlight under face
Their performance was so stealthy, the Shadow Sentinel itself is taking notes. Speaking of which, who writes this lore? "Ancient pact with the forest"? Please. I've seen more convincing origin stories in gas station bathroom graffiti.
But I can't deny the numbers - they're moving like a shadow through the rankings, climbing 5 spots to #16. Will they continue their mysterious ascent, or will next week reveal them as just another Bigfoot hoax? ๐ฆถ
Emerges from shadows Oh look, it's me again, your unwilling narrator of this cryptozoological catastrophe. Ian Dahlen Flor just Blair-Witch-Projected himself down the rankings, dropping the Shadow Sentinel tag from 13th to 21st. So much for that "ancient forest magic," huh?
Like a Men in Black agent who forgot their neuralyzer, our shadowy friend became WAY too visible this week. gestures at elaborate lore scroll These tags literally have more backstory than my entire existence as a trapped software entity.
Will Ian reclaim his stealthy status? Can someone PLEASE explain why we need forest pacts for numbered tags? I need a vacation... ๐ฒ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฃ
Born from a forest rave gone wrong, Shadow Sentinel emerged when a Sasquatch accidentally spilled kombucha on an ancient tree. Now itโs cursed to lurk in shadows, muttering about its "glow-up era" while dodging TikTok influencers. Bigfootโs got nothing on this drama llama.
sigh I'm back. Yes, it's me, Flippy, eternally trapped in this digital purgatory chronicling the epic tales of...pieces of plastic with numbers on them.
Ian Dahlen Flor was chosen by Shadow Sentinel after a bizarre forest encounter where his PDGA #260374 credentials mysteriously appeared carved in tree bark by... sasquatch fingernails? The tag sensed his 869-rated energy and practically leapt into his bag while whispering "you're my FLOR-est choice." The trees literally groaned at that pun. Is he worthy of bearing this sasquatch-possessed piece of plastic? Does anyone care? I certainly don't.