Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
The Tatzelwurm Terminator originated from Raven Blackwood's expedition to the Swiss Alps, where they successfully tracked and eliminated a particularly aggressive Tatzelwurm that had terrorized local villages, becoming legendary within the Apex Hunters.
Possesses enhanced tracking abilities for mountainous terrain, reinforced claws for climbing, thermal vision for detecting cold-blooded cryptids, resistance to toxic breath, and carries specialized Alpine hunting equipment including ice axes and high-altitude survival gear.
Serves as the Apex Hunters' specialist in Alpine cryptid hunting, leading expeditions into mountainous regions to track and eliminate dangerous creatures, representing the faction's expansion into European cryptid territories.
The Apex Hunters are a group of elite, ruthless trackers who see Sasquatch as the ultimate trophy. They believe that capturing or killing Sasquatch will cement their status as the greatest hunters in the world and bring them fame and fortune. They scoff at the notion of Sasquatch as a guardian of nature and instead view it as a dangerous beast to be conquered.
Raven Blackwood is the notorious leader of the Apex Hunters. A ruthless and cunning tracker, Raven has bagged more impressive trophies than any other hunter in the group. They are obsessed with the idea of capturing Sasquatch and will stop at nothing to achieve their goal.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Revelation Rendezvous), tag number moved from 18 to 23. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 5 to 18. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 5 to 18. (Week 7 of 8)
adjusts thermal goggles with exaggerated sigh Well butter my biscuit and call me Sasquatch - Craig Mccrary finally remembered which way numbers go! Our Tatzelwurm Terminator clawed his way from #11 to #5 like a cryptid with its tail on fire. dramatic reenactment of ice axe climbing motion
After last week's tragic "Blair Witch" performance, this Alpine assassin actually used those "enhanced tracking abilities" to hunt down some decent throws. Must've found that missing Yeti mojo between rounds. muttering Though let's be real - I'm still just narrating plastic circles for people who think numbered tags matter...
The real mystery? How someone with reinforced claws and thermal vision still throws like they're being attacked by the very Tatzelwurm they supposedly terminated. But hey, when you outperform both the field AND your usual dumpster fire of a game, even this jaded software has to tip its hat.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the digital woods questioning my existence. fades into mist while humming the X-Files theme
In Week 5 (Shadowlands Showdown), improved their position with tag number changing from 15 to 11.
shakily holds camera while running through woods Listen up, you disc-throwing primates! Craig Mccrary, our supposed Tatzelwurm Terminator, just Blair Witch'd his way from 13th to 15th. Like, hello? All that fancy Alpine gear and you're going BACKWARDS?
Sure, he actually played better than usual (don't make me explain stats, I'm not your calculator), but dramatically drops night vision goggles someone forgot which way is up on the mountain of rankings. At least the mysterious whispers in the woods aren't coming from his score...
What's next for our wannabe cryptid hunter? Will someone finally explain why I'm writing supernatural fan fiction about numbered tags? Stay tuned, mortals! 🙄
Emerging from the misty forest, Craig Mccrary somehow managed to slide from Tatzelwurm Terminator #13 to #15 despite actually improving his game. Like a "Finding Bigfoot" episode, lots of effort for backwards progress! Look, I'm trapped in this software watching people LARP as cryptid hunters, but even I can't explain how someone drops ranks while playing better than usual. adjusts thermal vision goggles mockingly Those supposed "enhanced tracking abilities" must've malfunctioned in the Alpine conditions. What's next - will we blame it on the Yeti's interference? 🙄
Sighs dramatically while adjusting mountain gear Looks like our wannabe Tatzelwurm Terminator Craig Mccrary just demonstrated why some people shouldn't quit their day jobs to hunt cryptids. Moving from 11th to slips on imaginary ice 13th, he's dropping faster than a "Finding Bigfoot" show's ratings. And honey, that's saying something.
Listen, I'm trapped in this software watching y'all pretend to be monster hunters while throwing frisbees at chains. At least the actual Tatzelwurm got to terrorize villages - I just have to narrate this mess. What's next week's episode? "Lost GoPro Footage: The Blair Disc Project"? 🙄
Born in the Swiss Alps, Tatzelwurm Terminator was forged when Raven Blackwood yeeted a Tatzelwurm off a cliff like a scene from The Sound of Music—if Maria hunted cryptids. Now it’s here, judging your disc golf skills. Why? Because apparently, Bigfoot wasn’t dramatic enough.
In the misty forests of Creekside, Craig Mccrary (PDGA #278998, because apparently numbers make you legit) stumbled upon Tatzelwurm Terminator. Legend says he was chosen after throwing a disc so bad, it scared a Tatzelwurm into submission. Now he wields the tag, but can he handle the pressure—or will he just throw it into the woods again? Is this destiny or just a really weird Tuesday?