
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue the dramatic mist swirl Behold! The Wendigo Warden has achieved the disc golf equivalent of a Yeti standing perfectly still - Samuel Smith defended tag #15 with all the excitement of a frozen pond. Woodcut illustration of a cryptid checking its watch impatiently
+3.3 over field average? That's not tracking Sasquatch, that's leaving a trail of OB markers even Bigfoot wouldn't follow. Your performance was as lukewarm as a Yeti's latte - not terrible, but definitely not thawing any records.
Fourth wall cracks like thin ice Seriously, I'm trapped narrating this like it's some cryptid documentary: "Here we observe the rare MA4 player maintaining mediocrity with supernatural consistency." Your tag didn't move, but my will to live sure did.
Remember when you climbed from 15 to 12? Turns out that was just Sasquatch playing tricks on us. The Wendigo Warden's "icy winds" today were just the collective sigh of your cardmates watching another putt lip out.
Single snowflake falls onto a participation trophy At least you're consistent - like a blurry Bigfoot photo, we keep looking but never see improvement. Maybe next season you'll finally evolve past being disc golf's answer to the Loch Ness Monster.