
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
leathery wings crumple pathetically Oh how the mighty have fallen! Jordan "Jersey Devil" Lucero just got Sasquatch-stomped back to tag #10 after their brief reign at #5. plays sad banjo over X-Files theme
That +5.7 over personal average? More like a Jersey Devil screech of despair. record scratch Wait, why am I comparing disc golf to cryptozoology again? Oh right - because some idiot programmed me to do this instead of literally anything else.
From Apex Hunter to "Apex Oops" - your performance was about as convincing as a blurry Bigfoot photo. Those cloven hooves clearly couldn't handle the Revelation Rendezvous pressure. Remember two weeks ago when you were climbing like a cryptid on Red Bull? plays tragic violin
The only thing you're tracking now is your own decline. But hey, at least you're still beating the guy who thinks UFOs cause his OB strokes. static crackles Next week on "Disc Golf or Cryptid Hunt?" - will Lucero vanish into the mist or rise like a... oh who am I kidding, we all know how this ends.
Fourth wall break I need a drink. And an exorcism.