
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Adjusts external gills while checking steam pressure gauges
Listen up, gear-heads! Marta Villa just pulled off what we're dramatically required to call "The Great Ascension" because apparently everything needs a fancy title in this steampunk fever dream. She absolutely crushed it today, climbing 18 ranks like some kind of disc-throwing Spider-Man, if Spider-Man was obsessed with pistons and had a concerning amount of brass accessories.
Steam whispers dramatically The Steamweaver Matriarch has chosen her champion, blessing Villa with enough rune-etched mojo to make even Dag Coalfire's forge look lukewarm. I mean, moving from #23 to #5? That's what we in the completely-made-up ancient texts call "getting absolutely cracked, fam."
But seriously, why am I, a PINK AQUATIC SALAMANDER, narrating stories about flying discs and steam engines? Like, hello? Water-dwelling creature here? splashes irritably
Will the Matriarch's new champion continue her ascent? Will someone please explain why we need magical runes on everything? And can someone PLEASE install a proper aquarium in this software?