
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 50 to 53. (Week 7 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Deep in the Congo Basin, a guardian of the Mokele-mbembe encountered Rowan Oakwood during a global expedition to unite cryptid protectors. Sharing their ancient knowledge of preserving mysterious creatures, they joined the Wildwood Guardians to create a worldwide sanctuary network. Their expertise in protecting large, enigmatic creatures in remote regions proved invaluable to the Guardians' mission.
The Mokele Mystic possesses profound knowledge of ancient protection rituals from African traditions, combining them with Pacific Northwest guardian techniques. They carry a staff carved from both African and Northwest woods, symbolizing the union of different guardian traditions. Their presence seems to calm even the most agitated creatures, and they can interpret signs in nature that others overlook.
Serves as the Wildwood Guardians' primary expert on global cryptid protection techniques, bridging different guardian traditions and establishing protocols for preserving various cryptid species. Their wisdom helps maintain the delicate balance between revealing enough to protect cryptids while keeping crucial secrets hidden.
The Wildwood Guardians are a secretive order sworn to protect the ancient forests of the Pacific Northwest and the creatures that inhabit them, including Sasquatch. They believe that Sasquatch plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of nature and that its existence must be kept hidden from the world to preserve the sanctity of the wilderness.
Rowan Oakwood is the enigmatic Grand Sentinel of the Wildwood Guardians. Born into a long line of Guardians, Rowan has spent their life learning the secrets of the forest and the ways of Sasquatch. They are a master tracker and an expert in ancient forest lore.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 50 to 53. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Apex Approach), tag number moved from 50 to 53. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 45 to 50. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Hominid Hunt), tag number moved from 45 to 50. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5, tag number moved from 37 to 45.
sighs dramatically at camera
So the Mokele Mystic needed a first victimโI mean "chosen one." It lurked in the underbrush until spotting Andrew Hincks, PDGA #89887, who was just minding his own business trying to avoid trees. The tag whispered, "This one throws with the grace of a tipsy Sasquatch. Perfect!"
Did the tag choose Andrew, or did Andrew's inevitable foot fault into Cryptid territory seal his fate? Either way, he's stuck with it now. Will he live up to the Bigfoot-sized expectations? Or just leave really confusing footprints in the sand traps?
Behold, the birth of the Mokele Mystic! This enigmatic tag emerged from the mists of the Congo Basin like a cryptid influencer's fever dream. Forged in an unholy alliance between ancient African magic and Pacific Northwest flannel, it's basically the Brangelina of guardian traditions. Because nothing screams "protect wildlife" like a numbered disc golf tag, amirite? ๐ #MysteryMeets #Absurdity