Your Adventure Begins in The Tempest Trials @ River Bottoms
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to the season trailer of The Tempest Trials @ River Bottoms, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Pool of the Earthbound Guardians
The Earthbound Guardians are a group of disc golf warriors deeply connected to the rugged landscapes and ancient secrets of the Great Plains. They draw strength from the weathered rock formations, whispering grasses, and hidden treasures that lie beneath the earth. The Earthbound Guardians navigate the course with grit and determination, relying on their physical prowess and deep understanding of the land to overcome challenges and uncover the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Pool of the Celestial Voyagers
The Celestial Voyagers are a group of disc golf warriors guided by the Thunderbird's cosmic wisdom. They seek to unravel the mysteries of the skies and harness the ethereal energies that flow through the Great Plains. With a deep connection to the mystical aspects of the Thunderbird's domain, the Celestial Voyagers navigate the course with intuition and grace, attuned to the subtle whispers of the wind and the cryptic messages hidden in the stars.
Whispering Winds
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts name tag that reads "Trapped League Narrator"* Oh good, you're here. Welcome to what my corporate overlords are calling The Tempest Trials, where we pretend throwing plastic circles is somehow connected to ancient mystical thunderbirds. *Deep sigh*
You'll need to pick a side in this completely manufactured conflict. Your choices are:
• The Celestial Voyagers: For those whose heads are permanently stuck in the clouds (Everyone else, including all junior divisions)
Entry fees are $5 base (because mystical powers aren't free), plus optional buy-ins totaling $15 for various pots. Speaking of pots, there's currently $349 in the ace pot, which is somehow still unclaimed despite River Bottoms being flatter than my personality.
*Checks notes while rolling eyes* Oh, and I'm contractually obligated to mention that Another Round Disc Golf Shop offers a 10% boost to amateur winnings. Because apparently, we're not just doing mystical themes, we're also doing math.
It's the final week of our "epic journey," and while I can't promise you'll gain mystical powers, I can guarantee you'll get really good at searching for discs in tall grass. May the Thunderbird have mercy on your score card... or whatever. *Walks off muttering about being trapped in a disc golf fantasy novel*