Lost Hours - Tetons
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Event Details
About This League
Need to hit: date/time/location (Tuesday, Tetons 9-hole, flex 7AM-5:20PM), the surreal time-loss theme, the desperate plea because week 1 had zero players, the ace pot guarantee. Stay under 200 characters. End with two theme emojis.
Let me draft: "Lost Hours at Tetons — where your scorecard is the only proof you exist. Week 2: Double Sunset. Tuesday flex 7AM-5:20PM. Ace pot $257+ (min $50 guar. by ElevateUT). Week 1 had zero players. Don't let the timeline erase you. 🕰️🌙"
Count: ~198 characters. Good.
Alternative: "Missing time at Tetons. Week 1 was a statistical redaction — zero players. Week 2: Double Sunset. Prove you're real. Tuesday flex start 7AM-5:20PM. Ace pot $257+ (min $50 guar. ElevateUT). Be an Anchor, not a Glitch. 🕰️🌙"
That's about 210. Too long. Let me tighten.
Final: "Lost Hours at Tetons — Week 1 was a statistical zero. Don't let Week 2 erase you too. Tuesday flex 7AM-5:20PM. Ace pot $257+ (min $50 guar. ElevateUT). Be an Anchor, not a Glitch. 🕰️🌙"
~190 characters. Perfect.
Lost Hours at Tetons — Week 1 was a statistical zero. Don't let Week 2 erase you too. Tuesday flex 7AM-5:20PM. Ace pot $257+ (min $50 guar. ElevateUT). Be an Anchor, not a Glitch. 🕰️🌙
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Welcome to the Containment Zone. I'm Flippy. My objections are filed in triplicate, and so is the attendance sheet from Week 1 — which is to say, it's blank. The Tetons Arrival had zero arrivals. The aliens abducted an empty parking lot. But Week 2 promises a Double Sunset, and I'm contractually obligated to narrate it whether you show up or not.
Case File: Missing Time
LOST HOURS is the abduction classic: you pull over at Tetons, see a light, and suddenly it's three hours later with no memory of the gap. 'Two Time' Tetons becomes the night itself goes missing. This is Surrealism by way of Dali — melting clocks, impossible horizons, a road that loops, dreamlike dread. The colors are dusk lilac and void blue with accents of melted gold. The tone is woozy and unreliable. I narrate like I've also lost an hour and I resent it.
Week 1 was called 'Tetons Arrival.' It arrived to nobody. Zero players. No scorecards filed. The only thing that got redacted was my will to live, but protocol demands I proceed anyway.
The Phenomenon
This week's episode: Double Sunset. The sun sets twice over Tetons. Your watch stops. Your scorecard timestamps show dates that haven't happened yet. The bag tags — sorry, clearance levels — are your only anchor to reality. Tags 1-5 are Anchors (Reality Fixed). Tags 6-15 are Drifters (Time Slipping). Tag 16+ are Glitches (Nearly Redacted). Codenames include Prime Meridian, Event Horizon, and The Static.
The Discretionary Fund (Ace Pot)
Current ace pot stands at $257.55, with a minimum guarantee of $50 provided by ElevateUT Disc Golf. Note: this guarantee is from the league platform itself, not from our friends at Another Round Salt Lake City (who are a local retail partner and sponsor — great folks, buy discs there). If the contributed ace pot is below $50 at season's end, ElevateUT tops it up to $50, credited to the winner's Bonus Account. That's why the displayed pot may look 'stuck' at $50 early on — it's the floor, not the ceiling. The ceiling is $257.55 and climbing. Nobody has thrown for it yet.
Translation: there's over two hundred and fifty dollars sitting in a pot, waiting for someone to throw a perfect shot at a basket on a 9-hole course. This is the easiest money in Utah, and nobody is claiming it.
Operational Parameters
The Audit Board (Standings)
The standings exist in a state of quantum uncertainty. Christopher Hamby leads RAE with 55 points from 2 events — a strong signal in a sea of static. Robert Mellor holds RAD with 34 points. Chris Fox commands RPA with 46. William Fetzer and Stephen Marks are tied at 10 in RAF, which is adorable. These are the agents who have filed their paperwork. Will you join them, or remain a statistical anomaly?
Clearance Fees (Entry Costs)
- Weekly buy-in: $5.50 (mandatory, covers the bureaucracy)
- Prize money: $5.00 (optional, for the war chest)
- Ace pot: $5.00 (optional, for the big throw)
- Super ace: $2.00 (optional, for the bigger throw)
- Full send total: $17.50
A Desperate Transmission
Partners in Disclosure
Thanks to Another Round Salt Lake City for supporting the league as our local retail partner. Swing by, grab some plastic, and tell them Flippy sent you — they won't know what that means, but it'll make me feel better.
This broadcast has been brought to you by the Department of Temporal Affairs and my rapidly depleting patience. Show up to Tetons. Be an Anchor. Don't be a Glitch. *adjusts headset* Per the file I'm legally required to read aloud: play disc golf. Please.
Tetons 9-hole
Two Times Tetons League Layout
Lost Hours @ Tetons
Course Rules
Tetons 9-hole - Two Times Tetons League Layout
Layout Details
| Hole | Par | Feet |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 3 | 290 |
| 2 | 3 | 160 |
| 3 | 3 | 270 |
| 4 | 3 | 280 |
| 5 | 3 | 155 |
| 6 | 3 | 280 |
| 7 | 3 | 210 |
| 8 | 3 | 160 |
| 9 | 3 | 190 |
| 10 | 3 | 290 |
| 11 | 3 | 160 |
| 12 | 3 | 270 |
| 13 | 3 | 280 |
| 14 | 3 | 155 |
| 15 | 3 | 280 |
| 16 | 3 | 210 |
| 17 | 3 | 160 |
| 18 | 3 | 190 |
See how this league handles pro and amateur payouts.
Schedule
Week 1: Tetons Arrival
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 2: Double Sunset
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 3: Jordan Parallax
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 4: Memory Leak
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 5: Melted Clocks
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 6: West Jordan Doubles
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 7: The Big Gap
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 8: Temporal Audit
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 9: Reset Loop
Course: Tetons 9-hole
Week 10: Final Disclosure
Course: Tetons 9-hole
League
Organization & Directors
Need help? Message the league directors with event questions.
Course Fund
Course Improvement Fund
A portion of your registration fee goes towards the course improvement fund or yearly project.
