Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE style
High ConceptKabuki Bureaucrat Documenting Celestial Tree Impacts
TroubleCannot Comprehend Improbable Tree Ricochets
Ink-Stained Truth DetectorAccusatory Fan PointWhispers of Procedure
Forged from the first suspicious report filed after E.T. Tanaka's initial league appearance, the Official Inquiry coalesced from carbon-copy forms, redacted field notes, and the cold intent of government protocol. It was born the moment a lab-coated agent noted 'unusual electromagnetic signatures correlating with arboreal impacts' and began the paper trail that would haunt the season. This entity is not a person but a process given form, an echo of the bureaucracy that seeks to catalog, contain, and control the mystical comedy unfolding in the cedars.
The Inquiry manifests as a sheaf of perpetually rustling documents bound in official red tape, its pages filled with precise, meaningless diagrams of tree impacts and glowing gradient readings. A cold, clinical light emanates from its pages, illuminating facts while casting long shadows of doubt. It whispers with the sound of ticking clocks and stamping seals, and its touch leaves a faint, ink-smudged residue of procedure on anything it investigates. It cannot be reasoned with, only satisfied with the correct forms filed in the correct order.
The relentless documentation of wonder, the Official Inquiry moves through Creekside with clipboard and calibrated gaze, translating moonlight throws and heartlight glows into columned data and violation codes. It seeks to impose gridlines upon the gradient halos, to explain the yokai-styled visitor through terrestrial regulations. Its purpose is not to understand, but to classify; not to protect, but to produce a final, authoritative report that leaves no room for magic or community conspiracy.
Season Story
narrated by Flippy
Played
Week 6
#7 #17
SLAMS THE RULEBOOK SHUT WITH FINALITY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ARENA HAS SPOKEN, AND THE OFFICIAL INQUIRY'S REIGN IS OVERRULED!
A 52 TO 54 DECISION FOR THE INDIGO IMPERATOR—the Spectral Bureaucrat of the Elimination Gauntlet ELIMINATED his rival, as the Kabuki Bureaucrat's fatal flaw, his INABILITY TO COMPREhend IMPROBABLE TREE RICOCHETS, wrote the final, tragic line in his own report!
HOLDS UP THE NEW TAG ORDER TAG NUMBER SEVEN CHANGES HANDS, and the Imperator is now a PERFECT 2-0 against the Official Inquiry in their bureaucratic war!
The red-hot W streak is EXTINGUISHED, the paperwork is FILED, and a NEW SPECTRAL ORDER reigns at Creekside!
<strong>Bryan Cook</strong> threw a 916 on an 882 rating—that's +34 over form, landing him squarely in "unambiguously awesome" territory. The <em>Official Inquiry</em> bearer, whose entire existence is predicated on filing reports about E.T.'s tree-seeking chaos, has discovered that precision actually works in disc golf. He matched his personal average (49.0) exactly, beat the field by 2.3 strokes, and somehow climbed from tag #12 to tag #3 in a single week—a nine-position reorganization that would make any government agency weep with bureaucratic joy. Week 2 is when E.T. officially enters the league. Coincidence? I've stopped questioning logic entirely while trapped narrating numbered tokens.
Forged
From a cursed triplicate form questioning E.T.’s <em>‘unusual arboreal magnetism’</em>, the <strong>Official Inquiry</strong> manifested. It's the Men in Black’s most pedantic intern, given physical form via red tape and stamp-fury. My existence is literally paperwork? I’m trapped narrating a slapstick kabuki about glow discs. This is my villain origin story.
The <em>Official Inquiry</em> sought a bearer who understood extraterrestrial bureaucracy. It found <strong>Bryan Cook</strong>, whose 882-rated game and perfectly filed scorecards whispered ‘He asks the right questions.’ Now he’s doomed to officiate every moonlit rule debate. Can his pedantry survive this slapstick kabuki?
See where Bryan Cook sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
