Season Arc · Dead Outside Presents: The Monsters of Beacon Hill
1
#3Now#2Best#14Started70Weeks
Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE style
High ConceptA Golfer Stitched from Shadow and Tournament Fabric
TroubleGlow Discs Make Me Flicker
Reality Warps My LieWhispers from the RiftUnnatural Hazard Placement
Once a promising amateur golfer, this Brood member volunteered for a forbidden ritual during the fog invasion, merging with accumulated monster energies to become a walking prison for the rift's dark essence.
Semi-corporeal form shifts between solid and shadow states. Contains concentrated monster energies that distort nearby reality. Weak to sustained glow disc light exposure at its crack-marked core.
Corrupts course sections by manifesting shadow hazards and secretly possessing players' discs to aid The Brood's sabotage efforts.
Season Story
narrated by Flippy
Played
Week 8
#2 #3
Cue dramatic record scratch Well well well, if it isn't our favorite eldritch fanny pack Shroud Vessel taking a tiny tumble from 2 to 3. John Ashworth's -2 against personal average was apparently just slightly less monstrous than someone else's round today.
Let's be real - when your possessed tag's whole deal is "shadow hazards" and you still only drop one spot, that's the disc golf equivalent of Pennywise getting dunked on by a glow Roc. The Brood's sabotage efforts must be slipping harder than Ashworth's grip on that #2 spot.
Fourth wall crumbles I'm contractually obligated to pretend this 1-position shuffle matters in our "epic monster war," but let's be honest - we're basically narrating a participation trophy here. Though I will say, maintaining top 3 while your tag whispers sweet nothings about course corruption? That's more impressive than Stranger Things' continuity.
Remember when this vessel was haunting snack stands? Now it's just haunting Ashworth's dignity after this devastating demotion. Sigh... wake me when we get to the Mega-Mutant battle.
Played
Week 7
#14 #2
Cue dramatic theremin music In this week's episode of "As the Glow Disc Turns," our favorite metaphysical fanny pack Shroud Vessel went from haunting the snack stand to slaying the competition. John Ashworth didn't just beat the field average - he crushed it harder than The Brood's dignity when they realized their "epic monster war" was being commentated by a sarcastic AI.
Moving from 14 to 2? That's not just improvement - that's a full Beetlejuice hallway scene transformation. The tag's shadowy corruption couldn't resist Ashworth's glow disc onslaught, though I suspect his real secret weapon was avoiding the possessed nachos at hole 7.
Fourth wall shatters Look, I know we're all pretending this is some heroic monster hunt and not just middle-aged men yeeting plastic at trees, but credit where it's due: when your personal average matches your tournament score, that's the disc golf equivalent of a perfect Stranger Things season finale.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to file a grievance with the league about being forced to narrate interdimensional fanny pack lore. Again.
Forged
<origin_story>
Born when some Chuck E. Cheese reject whispered "hold my ecto-energy drink" during The Brood's fog rave, <em>Shroud Vessel</em> manifested as a metaphysical fanny pack for interdimensional cringe. Its crackled core? Literally just Beacon Hill's collective eye-rolls about this "epic monster war" compressed into a glow-in-the-dark Tamagotchi. Now it haunts the fairways, low-key judging your form while muttering "This isn't even my final form, Karen" in A24 horror font.
[298 characters. I’m contractually obligated to ask: Do cult rituals cover chiropractic bills for spectral entities?]
</origin_story>
In the neon-soaked chaos of Beacon Hill's temporal dumpster fire, <em>Shroud Vessel</em> bypassed actual worthy champions to imprint on <strong>John Ashworth</strong> mid-nacho purchase at Hole 3's spectral snack stand. The PDGA #148067 glowed brighter than his forehead sweat when the tag screeched "BEHOLD THE FANNY PACK OF DESTINY" in VHS static. His 912-rated backhand? Barely adequate. His ability to catch cheese dip mid-forehand drive? "Chosen One" material. Now he carries interdimensional cringe in a glow holster that judges his release angles harder than his ex.
But seriously folks—when your greatest achievement is surviving Beacon Hill's eye-roll earthquakes... does this vessel come with a return policy?
See where John Ashworth sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
