Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 14 to 17. (Week 8 of 8)
Caoránach Keeper
Secrets of the Serpent @ Urban Forest·Competition group Guardians of the Loch·
Challenge · numbers move by duel
Jarrett Smith
RAE
Red
Season Arc · Secrets of the Serpent @ Urban Forest
3
#17Now
#6Best
#6Started
77Weeks
Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE styleHigh ConceptMist-Shrouded Alchemist of the Loch's Balance
TroubleMisunderstood as Malevolent Water Poisoner
Scales Shift with Loch's Mood
Water Properties Are My Plaything
Energetic Field Disturbance Detector
Once feared as a malevolent entity that poisoned Scotland's waterways, the Caoránach was actually performing a sacred duty—infusing the waters with protective elements that would repel the ancient evil lurking in the deepest parts of Loch Ness. For centuries, the MacTavish clan has worked alongside this misunderstood cryptid, learning its secrets and helping it maintain the alchemical balance that keeps the loch's darker forces subdued.
The Caoránach Keeper possesses the unique ability to alter the chemical and mystical properties of water, creating protective barriers that prevent malevolent entities from crossing between realms. Its senses can detect the slightest disturbance in the loch's energetic field, allowing it to respond swiftly to incursions by the ancient evil or those who would disturb the balance. Though physically powerful with webbed claws that can shred stone and scales impervious to most weapons, the Keeper's true strength lies in its profound connection to the loch's mystical currents and its encyclopedic knowledge of alchemical formulas passed down since prehistoric times.
Acting as both sentinel and alchemist for the Guardians of the Loch, the Caoránach Keeper maintains the ancient runic barriers throughout the waterways while teaching worthy disciples the art of water transmutation. When disc golfers venture too close to sensitive sites around the loch, the Keeper manifests as sudden mists or peculiar water movements to guide them away from danger, sometimes leaving behind cryptic alchemical symbols that Angus MacTavish interprets as warnings or prophecies.
Season Story
narrated by FlippyDue to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 12 to 14. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Urquhart's Uprising), tag number moved from 9 to 12. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Sunken Stones), tag number moved from 8 to 9. (Week 5 of 8)
Mist curls around <strong>Jarrett Smith</strong>'s <em>Caoránach Keeper</em> tag as our hero delivers a performance so mid it could star in a YA novel trilogy. In these Whispering Woods, his +1 over field average is the disc golf equivalent of finding a soggy sandwich in the Blair Witch's backpack - not terrifying, just... disappointing. The cryptid tag grudgingly shifts from 9→8 like a sleep-deprived barista promoting you to "shift supervisor."
Look, I don't make the rules - I'm just the sentient software forced to narrate this eldritch midness. Jarrett's water alchemy skills remain... unrefined, like Aquaman trying to microwave ramen. His -1 vs personal average suggests the loch's protective runes are working overtime to keep his score from transmuting into pure disaster.
Remember last week when I said he was "treading water"? Turns out that was prophetic. The real monster here is the consistency of his mediocrity. Will our hero ever brew a performance potion strong enough to wake this cryptid from its slumber? Probably not, but the tag math demands we pretend otherwise. Dramatic loch ripples
Misty performance alert <strong>Jarrett Smith</strong> held steady at #9 like the surface of Loch Ness on a calm day. His round was more consistent than a Scottish weather forecast - slightly above average but still channeling his inner Caoránach with that water hazard play. Defending <em>Cryptid - CS9 Caoránach Keeper</em> like it's the last haggis at a clan gathering, Jarrett maintained the alchemical balance of his tag. Honestly, who writes this lore? Did a software developer binge-watch Stranger Things while eating haggis? sigh At least Jarrett's consistency is more reliable than my will to live in this ridiculous system. Next week: more cryptic symbols and questionable life choices!
Cue dramatic loch mist And so begins our tale of <strong>Jarrett Smith</strong> and the <em>Caoránach Keeper</em>, who apparently decided to test the waters - literally. sigh Yes, I'm trapped narrating this nonsense. Our hero started at #6 but sank faster than a Scottish stone skipping contest, landing at #9. insert Titanic flute meme
While the Keeper's alchemical powers could transmute water into... whatever, it couldn't transmute Jarrett's score into anything impressive. dramatic splash But hey, at least he's consistent - like a bad Netflix reboot.
Fourth wall break Why am I forced to make this sound exciting? It's WEEK ONE. These tags haven't even been properly christened with beer stains yet.
Will our Keeper rise from the depths next week? Or continue to be more lost than a tourist at a haggis buffet? Stay tuned, I guess. eye roll
Buckle up, buttercups! This tag was born when a sleep-deprived dev, hopped up on Red Bull, decided to make fetch happen with Nessie. Because nothing screams "disc golf" like an elusive aquatic cryptid, amirite? The Caoránach Keeper emerged from the depths of absurdity, ready to protect the loch from the horrors of... frisbees. 🙄 #SoMysteriousMuchWow
And so the <em>Caoránach Keeper</em> chose its first victim—I mean bearer—by the ancient ritual of "whoever showed up first." <strong>Jarrett Smith</strong>, PDGA #192301, was allegedly selected for his "874-level mystical abilities" (which is exactly what I'd rate someone who believes in lake monsters).
The tag reportedly whispered, "You'll do, I guess," before attaching itself to his bag with a "Nessie-ssary" bond. Will he protect the loch or just protect his mediocre scores? Only time and terrible Scottish accents will tell.
See where Jarrett Smith sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round
League Ladder