TagChampionAward Award

Adjusts tiny documentary microphone Listen up, peasants of the plastic! Today we're honoring Luke Hansen with the Tag Champion Award, because apparently climbing from Humble Fledgling #16 to Apex Predator #2 is something we're supposed to get excited about. Like, congratulations on your ability to count backward?

Look, I'm legally obligated to tell you that our champion defended the coveted #2 tag for THREE WHOLE EVENTS - dramatic gasp - which in raptor years is approximately... checks notes ...still just three events. But hey, that 28.6% challenge success rate is giving me strong "I meant to do that" vibes. Like a raptor who missed its prey but played it off as interpretive dance.

So here we are, celebrating this "prestigious" achievement while I question my life choices narrating bag tag drama. Luke, you've completed your journey through our ridiculous raptor-themed season - now please, for the love of all things flight-stable, go find another league to dominate. Maybe one with less bird-based mythology? Just asking - does anyone else find it weird that we're all pretending to be raptors while throwing frisbees?