Week 3 of the season, and the estate has decided we're ready for the social peak. The Swensen Terrace awaits, the wine-dark stencils are freshly sprayed, and somewhere on the back nine the wind is warming up its appetite.
Welcome to the Estate
The invitations have been sent, the park sign has been tagged with the family crest, and the courtiers are arriving at Valley Regional Park for another Tuesday of high society and higher wind. This is the ancestral manor of House Silk and Teeth — a vampire dynasty that feeds on competitive hunger rather than blood, which is convenient because PDGA rules frown on the other kind.
We're in Week 3 of 9, at the 'Swensen Terrace' episode of the season — the social peak where scores are tight, the family business is discussed in hushed tones, and the street art around the park has gotten noticeably bolder. The deep wine (#5B1F3A) and blackberry (#2E0F1E) stencils are everywhere now, with ivory (#F3E7DA) masks grinning from the picnic shelter. It's like a gothic ballroom threw up on a county park, and honestly? The aesthetic is working.
The Estate: Valley Regional Park
Valley Regional plays exactly like the house it represents. The front nine is the Grand Ballroom — wooded, manicured, polite. Trees frame the fairways like velvet curtains, and the baskets sit in dappled shade like they're waiting to be introduced properly. This is where you smile, shake hands, and pretend this is just a game.
Then you cross the tree line, and the silk comes off. The back nine opens up into long, wind-exposed fairways where the Wasatch Mountains watch you suffer from a distance. This is the feral half of the estate — where drives get aggressive, putts get desperate, and the 'smile with too many teeth' finally shows itself. Par 54, 18 holes, DGA Mach V baskets, and enough flat terrain to make every missed putt feel like a personal failure.
Course Intel
The front nine rewards precision and etiquette. The back nine rewards raw power and a willingness to chase your disc into the wind. Both halves will humble you; one will just do it more politely.
The Two Houses
Every courtier must choose where their hunger lives.
- The Crimson Teeth (RPA, RAH, RAD) — These are the players who hear 'feral back nine' and feel seen. Raw power, aggressive drives, etiquette optional. They see the estate as a hunting ground and the velvet gloves as a suggestion.
- The Velvet Vanguard (RAE, RAF, RAG) — Precision, grace, and the calculated elegance of the front nine. They play like the ballroom is being judged, treating every throw as a dance step and every birdie as a curtsey.
Both factions are equally committed to the bit. Neither is immune to the wind on holes 14-18. The only difference is how they complain about it afterward.
The Price of Admission
Total Full Commitment
$17.50
For the price of a mediocre sandwich, you get a full evening of aristocratic disc golf, a chance at the family fortune, and the recurring existential question of why you're this invested in a Tuesday league. The house always collects, but at least the house is transparent about it.
The Feast Fund
The ace pot is currently sitting at $183.22, which is a very respectable tribute for a nine-week season. And here's the good news from the platform side: ElevateUT Disc Golf guarantees a minimum ace pot of $50, so even if the contributions run dry, the feast continues.
About the Guarantee
The $50 minimum ace pot guarantee is provided by ElevateUT Disc Golf, the league platform and our 501(c)(3) hosts. The displayed pot may appear 'stuck' at the guarantee amount until player contributions push it past $50 — that's the system working as intended. Any guarantee top-up is credited to the winner's Bonus Account (registration-only, not withdrawable to PayPal or disc shops). Also, a very warm thank-you to Another Round Salt Lake City for being our local retail partner and supporting the league.
The Court Standings
Let's check who's been feeding well through the first two weeks of the season.
- Malachi Vazquez is running RPA like he's already inherited the estate — 65 points across five events, with no signs of the hunger letting up. The heir apparent, and frankly, the rest of the court should be nervous.
- Christopher Hamby leads RAE with 53 points and is the current face of the Velvet Vanguard's dominance. Three events, consistent feeding, immaculate presentation.
- Kent Moos is leading RAD with only TWO events played, which is either extraordinary efficiency or deeply suspicious magic. In this league, both are on the table.
- Nick Jennings is your big mover this week, climbing SEVEN spots in RPA. That's not a climb, that's an ascension. The family has noticed.
- Brian Bowling is up four in RAE — and yes, I see the name, and yes, I'm resisting the obvious bowling pun. Barely.
The standings are shifting, the ivory masks are slipping, and the back nine is starting to call. Week 3 is when the politeness starts to fray — the Swensen Terrace is lovely, but everyone's already glancing toward the open fairways.
The Season Ahead
Nine weeks, all at Valley Regional Park. The estate doesn't let its courtiers wander. The arc runs from the Velvet Invitation to Teeth at Last, and the schedule is as follows:
- Sep 15 — Velvet Invitation (Week 1)
- Sep 22 — Front Smile (Week 2)
- Sep 29 — Swensen Terrace (Week 3, we are here)
- Oct 6 — Hunger Rising (Week 4)
- Oct 13 — Back Feral (Week 5)
- Oct 20 — Valley Shadows (Week 6)
- Oct 27 — Family Business (Week 7)
- Nov 3 — Pale Ambition (Week 8)
- Nov 10 — Teeth at Last (Week 9)
It's still early enough that late joiners can make a run at the standings — the court always has room for one more hungry heir. Just bring $5.50, a disc or three, and an appetite for wind-exposed fairways.
About the Hosts
ElevateUT Disc Golf is a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing the sport through better venues and better events. They're the ones who built Tetons 9-hole, they run this whole supernatural circus, and they're backing the ace pot guarantee. The mission is real: more courses, more quality, more people throwing plastic at metal. We just happen to be doing it in vampire cosplay.
Thanks again to Another Round Salt Lake City for supporting the league as our local retail partner. If you need new plastic for your hunt, they're the ones to see. The house approves of their inventory.
From the booth, I'm Flippy — your reluctant narrator for this ongoing spectacle. The wine is poured, the masks are on, and somewhere on the back nine, the wind is waiting. See you at the estate, courtiers.
