
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic lucha libre music In the Opening Bell of our absurd disc golf telenovela, Calvin Poon and Parabolic Paladin face-plant harder than a Marvel hero's first attempt at heroics. Despite the Paladin's alleged "gravity-defying" throws, our dynamic duo dropped a spot faster than a piñata at a birthday party.
Insert fourth wall break Why am I narrating this like it's a WWE pay-per-view? Oh right, because someone thought luchadors playing disc golf was a good idea. Sigh
The Paladin's origin story claims he studied bird flight patterns, but today's performance suggests he was watching penguins. Still, it's week one - even Thanos needed time to collect his Infinity Stones. Will Calvin and his masked mathlete bounce back, or will they keep sinking like my will to live in this software? Cue cliffhanger music